


I Never Meant To Fall For You

by SterekOTP456



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Fluff, If You Go By My Tags I Dont Like Clary That Much, Jace Cheats On Clary With Simon, M/M, Protective Jace Wayland, Protective Simon Lewis, Reveal, Understanding Alec
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9302201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SterekOTP456/pseuds/SterekOTP456
Summary: Simon doesn't know how all this started, okay that's a lie he knows how it started he just doesn't know why. He wishes he could say he wants to take it all back but he doesn't he's a little selfish like that, he does have regrets though like when he was 10 and he cut the head of his sister's barbies, when he was 15 him and Clary got so drunk he ended up in the hospital he regrets getting turned into a vampire and having to drink blood for the rest of his life.You ask what he regrets now he wishes he could say sleeping with his best friends boyfriend not just once but having an affair, he wishes he could say falling in love with Jace but that was the problem he wasn't regretful of that, sure he was sorry so fucking sorry but regretful no because it got him Jace.So that's where Simon is in his life right now a whole load of regrets minus some he probably should have and sleeping with Clary's boyfriend.





	1. Oh Fuck!

Simon woke up to a warmth pressed up against his back, he presses back into it snuggling into it and sighing contently, the arm around his waist tightens its hold dragging him further back towards a warm chest, Simon hums in delight and smiles.

Simon freezes and the smile drops from his face, he blinks his eyes open and turns his head slowly afraid of who he’s going to see.

Oh god, what the hell happened last night, he was out with Jace on Clary’s strict instruction to get a drink and start getting along or at least be able to tolerate each other for more than 5 minutes. The last thing he remembers is Jace taking him to a club he knows and drinking way too much and now he thinks about it he vaguely remembers something to do with tricycle.

Simon frowns when he sees Jace sleeping next to him, face more relaxed then he’s ever seen before, normally there’s a tightness to his eyes when he’s awake. Simon blinks a few times hoping against hope that the pictures going to change and it’s going to be someone else lying next to him.

“Before you freak out Simon, check to see if either of you are wearing clothes.” He mutters to himself, Simon slowly lifts the duvet of himself and Jace, his eyes widen when he sees they are both stark naked, not a stich of clothing on them, he yanks the duvet back down and takes a deep breath.

“Jace” Simon hisses at him, shaking the arm that’s still tightly wrapped around his waist, when he gets no response Simon rolls his eyes and thinking quickly decides that a good hard kick to the shin should wake him up, and he deserves it, it’s probably all Jace’s fault anyway. He manoeuvred around with some difficulty since there’s an arm clamped around his waist.

Jace wakes up so a sharp pain in his leg, he jerks awake with wide eyes alert and ready to take down any demons coming at him. Looking around Jace hears a chuckle from next to him and looks down, Simons looking at him with a raised eyebrow amusement dancing in his eyes, Jace flops back down on the bed with a groan, his head ponding like someone took a hammer to his brain. 

Jace huffs eyes fliting around the room, he runs his hands through his hair pushing it out of his face and pushes one hand behind his head, “Why the hell did you kick me.” He says voice gruff from sleep.

Simon looks at him incredulously “That’s what you want to talk about right now, not the fact that we woke up in bed together, or the fact that we are BOTH NAKED!” Simon shouts at him.

Jace keeps his face blank as he slowly reaches for the duvet, Simon grabs his wrist and squeezes it before he can lift it with a glare. “Don’t even think about it, you’ve apparently already seen me naked once that’s enough for my lifetime.” He says stiffly.

Jace returns to staring at the ceiling as Simon drops his wrist and does the same, they’re both quietly for a couple of minutes before Jace speaks. “Maybe nothing happened, maybe we came here got naked and fell asleep.” He says hopefully.

“That’s what you think happened, we came here throw our clothes around my room got into bed together NAKED I feel like I need to remind you, and just fell asleep. Come on Jace you might have the hot blonde thing going on but you’re not dumb.” Simon gives Jace a flat look.

Jace smirks back at Simon eyes traveling down his torso slowly, Simons eyes widen and he yanks the duvet up over his chest glaring at him. 

“You think I’m hot.” Jace says raising an eyebrow at him.

“That’s all you took from that.” Groaning Simon covers his face with his hands “God I hate you, do you have to be such an asshole?” Simon hears Jace chuckling beside him and pointedly ignore the way his stomach flutters with the sound.

Simon lets his hands drop to his sides, feeling his right-hand graze Jace’s but refusing to acknowledge it neither bother to move their hands. Jace leaves his hand where it is for a few second and traces his pinkie finger against Simons slowly, hearing the way his breathing hitches before sitting up and grabbing his boxers from the floor. He hears shuffling behind him and turns to see Simon getting up to grab his clothes, he lets his eyes linger on the long line of Simon’s back, taking in the way his muscles shift as bends to grab his t-shirt. He’s snapped out of his staring when he hears someone pounding on Simon’s front door.

They scramble around to pick up their clothes, Simon bends down to step into his jeans pulling them up hastily, they both freeze when they hear Clary’s muffled voice.

“Simon, you in there, come on I’m worried, I haven’t heard from you or Jace since last night.” She shouts continuing to knock on the door.

“Oh god.” Simon whispers

Simon’s frozen to the spot, watches as Jace finishes getting dressed and starts towards the door, he reaches out without any real thought and grabs his hand, Jace freezes and slowly turns to look at Simon then down to his hand and back to his face.

“Wait where are you going, you can’t just go out there, what are you going to tell her.” Simon says panicked. He looks at Jace pleading and takes a step closer to him, “Jace, please don’t tell Clary, she will never forgive me.” Simon runs his free hand through his hair and tugs. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I let this happen, I’m one of those people.” He says releasing his hair and looking back at Jace who’s giving him a confused look, Simon huffs “You know one of those people who it doesn’t matter that there’s millions of people in New York, I’m the friend that has sex with his best friend’s boyfriend, I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell.” Simon nods his head like he’s already accepted his fate.

“Will you just calm down, I’m not going to say anything to Clary, your right she wouldn’t forgive either of us, we just got into a good place. So, here’s what I suggest we do, we forget it ever happened, we never talk about it ever again and we leave it at that.” He says calmly 

Simon nods his head frantically releasing a sigh of relief looking back at Jace with a small smile, he frowns when Jace gives him a pointed look.

“What, why are you looking at me like that.”

Jace smirks at him, “You know if you want me to get the door, you have to let go of my hand at some point.” 

Jace walks out laughing when Simon drops his hand like he’s been burned, he jogs down the stairs and strides to the door where Clary is still knocking and swings it open.

Clary blinks as the door opens and blinks up at Jace’s face, “Oh” She breath’s a sigh of relief “Thank god you’re here, I’ve been looking for you and Simon everywhere, I was worried.” 

She says slapping him on the shoulder.

“Ow!” Jace says rubbing his shoulder

They both turn when Simon comes rushing down the stairs, he stares back at them both awkwardly pointedly ignoring Jace’s smirking face again. 

“Hey Clary” Simon says stiffly clearing his throat “Sorry we didn’t call or text last night to say where we were, we both got a little too drunk, we just ended up crashing here.” 

She waves of his apology, smiling brightly back at him and Simon feels guilt twist his stomach.

“Its fine.” She says, “I’m just glad you had a good night and managed to not kill each other, I sensing it went well and you had a good time.” Simon looks to Jace to Clary and back to Jace who’s biting his lip holding in a laugh.

Jace hums “We had a great time, didn’t we Simon?” looking back at Simon innocently 

Simon has to fight back the urge to march over to him and strangle him, so Simon just nods frantically back at Clary and plasters the fakest smile onto his face, which he’s sure comes off more as a pained grimace from the strange look Clary gives him.

“Okay.” Clary says frowning at him, she turns back to Jace “Hey, do you want to get some breakfast before we go back to the institute.”

“Sure.” Jace says smiling at her.

“Simon, you want to come, you can tell me all about last night, I want all the details.” She gives him a mischievous look, “Did you get lucky last night huh.” She says winking at him.

Simon chokes on his own spit and he just gapes at her, he pulls himself together enough to answer her “No” he says chuckling, shaking his head frantically at her “No I definitely did not get lucky last night, I’m pretty sure I would remember that.”

“Okay.” She says slowly “Shall we go then.” She says to Jace who nods back at her, Simon walks over to the door to see them out, ignoring Jace completely knowing he’s smirking at him, Clary waves as she walks down the steps leading up to his house, Simon gives a weak wave back and closes the door behind them, letting out a breath.

Jace is listening to Clary ramble beside him about what she and Izzy did last night but Jace mind is on Simon, thinking about last night, he can’t get it out of his head remembers sliding Simon’s clothes of his surprisingly muscles body, trailing his fingertips across his chest down to his jeans, unbuttoning them slowly watching as Simon shakes them off as the pool on the floor. One of the things he remembers most is laughing which sounds ridiculous when he says it but Jace has never had that before, can’t think of a single hook up where they have laughed their way through sex. With Simon it was different he’s pretty sure at one point he giggled, which is a shocked to him because Jace had never giggled in his life.

Clary looks over at Jace and sees him smiling softly, she nudges him “Hey, are you ok.” 

Jace blinks out of his thought to smile back at her, he reaches out to take her hand and notices he doesn’t have his jacket on, frowning down at himself.

“Yeah, I’m fine I um, I forget my jacket I’m just going to run back really quick and grab it.”

“Okay.” Clary says smiling up at him, leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

Simon’s in the kitchen getting a glass of water when he hears the knock on the door, he places his glass in the sink and leaves to answer, swinging the door open he sees Jace stood there, he frowns looking around outside for Clary he sees her a little way up the road.

“Do you need something?” Simon says.

“Yeah, I forgot my jacket, can I grab it real quick?”

“Sure, come in I’ll get it.” Simon says walking away as Jace steps inside and closes the door.

Simon comes back down with Jace’s jacket handing it over, Jace takes it with a small smile and shrugs it on, they stand there staring at each other for a few seconds and Jace swears he saw Simon’s eyes flick down to his lips.

Fuck it Jace thinks and crowds into Simon’s space, grabbing him by the hips and pulling him forward, Simon’s hands come up to rest on his chest as Jace leans forward to kiss him, Simon doesn’t respond for a few achingly slow seconds and Jace starts to pull away before Simon grabs him by the neck to pull him back in.  
Simon swipes his tongue across Jace’s bottom lip and his lips part eagerly, Simon slides his hand from Jace’s neck into his hair and grasp’s the silky strands softly, the first touch of his tongue with Jace’s sets every nerve on fire, it sends a shiver down his spine and makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He moans quietly into the kiss and backs Jace up against the door tongues still tangled together, they stand there lazily kissing before he remembers Clary’s waiting outside, Simon pulls away slowly and rest his forehead against Jace’s, both panting for breath.

“We shouldn’t have done that.” Simon whispers.

Jace slowly lifts his hand from Simon’s waist and trails his fingertips down the side of his face, staring into his eyes Jace cups his cheek and leans in to give Simon a soft lingering peck. He pulls away and leans in to whisper in his ear.

“You and I both know that last night was amazing, don’t bothering trying to deny it.” Jace softly bits the flesh of Simon’s ear and Simon responds with a soft moan.

“I’ll call you.” He continues to whisper, and Simon can feel his soft breath in his ear making him shiver. Jace bends his head to place a soft kiss under Simon’s ear, which makes him gasp.

Before Simon can blink Jace has moved away and is out the door, he watches as Jace jogs to catch up with Clary, slinging his arm around her shoulders as they set off, before Simon steps back in the house Jace turns and locks eyes with him, sending him a wink and a flirty smile, Simon closes the door behind him and rest his forehead against the cold wood.

“DAMN IT, FUCK!” Simon shouts 

“I’m so screwed.” He whispers to himself.


	2. What Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapters up, I hope you like it, the upcoming chapters might be posted a little inconsistently, I'm sorry but I have to work and do other things. I'll try to post as much as I can.

As soon as Jace kicks the bedroom door closed they pounce, the kiss is not gentle it’s a clash of mouths, tongues tangled together. Jace cards a hand through Simons hair, the other gripping his waist in a bruising grip.

Jace backs Simon up slowly till his knees hit the edge of the bed and pushes him down, Simon laughs bouncing lightly and smiles up at him, he reaches out to grasp the back of Jace’s neck pulling him on top of him and reclaiming his mouth.

Jace breaks the kiss and tugs at the hem of Simons t-shirt, he shifts slightly so his straddling Simons waist and sits back on his thighs. Simon sits up and pulls his shirt off throwing it over the side of the bed, his hands reach for the hem of Jace’s shirt and he immediately raises his arms as Simon lifts it up and over his head.

Jace bring his hands down to cup Simons face lightly and crashes their lips back together, Simon lays back down dragging Jace with him never breaking the kiss.

His mouth moving to kiss down Simons neck, biting down where his neck and shoulder meets and sucking lightly. Simon moans softly as Jace pulls back to stare down at him, there’s a possessive thrill that goes through Jace when he looks at Simon and sees the mark’s he put on his skin, like he’s telling the world this one belongs to Jace don’t touch. 

The thought makes heat pool in his stomach and he surges down to kiss Simon again till his lungs ache from lack of air.

Simon pulls back panting, he has no idea why, he doesn’t even need to breath he’s a vampire for fucks sake, its definitely a Jace thing Simon concludes, he just takes his non-exist breath away.

It’s been a couple weeks since the first incident as Simon likes to call it in his head, he tried to ignore it ever happened got on with his life and assumed Jace was joking about continuing this, whatever this was between them, but then he showed up at his house 2 days later when his mom and sister were out and they ended up having sex against the front door.

Simons pulled out of his thoughts with a gasp when Jace bits down roughly on his hip sucking the flesh into his mouth, he lifts his head to look down at Jace, when did he even move?

Jace’s eyes locks with Simons and he smirks at him, reaching for the button of Simons jeans he pulls them open roughly and leans down to take the zip in between his teeth, pulling it down slowly without breaking eye contact. 

Simon groans and lets his head drop down onto the pillow, he’s so hard and Jace hasn’t even done anything yet.

He pushes his hands into the waist of his jeans and boxers, yanking them down and off in one go, Simon yelps and flails at the sudden cold.

Chuckling Jace rolls off of Simon and stands to get out of his own jeans, pushing his jeans and boxers down, he kicks them off his feet and looks back at Simon who’s watching him intently.

“See something you like?” Jace asks smugly, winking at him.

Simon nods dumbly and reaches for him, Jace lets himself be pulled back down, Simon slots their mouths back together like he’s starving dragging his hands through he’s hair.

Jace crawls down the length of his body till he settles between Simons legs, Jace hovers over the head of Simons cock, letting his breath wash over it but makes no move to go any further yet, he wants Simon to beg.

Simon can feel Jace right where he needs him but he’s not doing anything, can feel his hot breath on him and he moans.

“Come on Jace, please.” Simon Says.

Jace smirks and wraps a hand lightly around the base of his cock, he places a feather light kiss on the underside of his cock.

Simon whines and shifts impatiently reaching down to push his hands into Jace’s hair, tugging lightly. “Jace, come on, don’t tease me.”

“Come on? What, what do you want? You want me to stop?” Jace says teasingly moving to sit up.

Simons hands tighten in his hair. “No, don’t stop, please, please just suck my dick,”.

“Ohhh, you mean like this?”

Jace ducks his head and swallows him down, till his mouth connects with his hand still holding the base of Simons cock.

“Holy shit.” Simon gasps, tightening one of hands in Jace’s hair, the other flying up to grab the headboard.

Simons mind goes blank all he can think is holy shit and Jace, Jace sucks roughly, lifting his mouth up scraping his teeth on the underside of his cock, before he ducks back down. Simon looks down and he almost comes from the sight Jace makes with his cock in his mouth.

Simon moans long and low when Jace starts to bob his head, he can’t stop his hips from jerking up into the warm wet heat, the feeling of Jace’s mouth around his cock is nothing he’s ever felt before, sure he’s had blowjobs before but this is defiantly the best, Simon is pretty sure Jace’s mouth is a gift from god himself.

Jace pulls back to take in a sharp breath, before diving back done taking the head of Simons cock in his mouth and sucking hard, Simon moans loudly and his hips jerk up, Jace gags a little and Simon starts to pull back, Jace squeezes his hips and relaxes his jaw encouraging him to fuck his mouth.

Simon groans, his hand coming down from the headboard and runs it through Jace’s hair, lifting his hips up, slowly at first slowly gaining speed as Jace lets him use his mouth, Jace gets a hand under himself and grasps his own cock, jerking it in time with Simons thrust into his mouth.

Jace felt his orgasm wash over him, he cums with a groan, while Simon carries on fucking his mouth.

Jace moans around Simons cock and hollows his checks sending tingles up his spine, rocking his hips faster into Jace’s mouth.

“Fuck, I’m so close, so close.” Simon says moaning.

Simon could feel his orgasm building in his stomach, tingles shooting up his spine, he jerked his hips up frantically chasing release, Jace grabbed Simons hips stilling them and took him all the way down to the root, sucking harder and swallowing around the head of his cock.

Simons hips snapped forward and he came with a shout, he lifts his head weakly, watching as Jace swallows down his cum and pulls off wiping his chin with the back off his hand. Jace crawls up to the head of the bed and flops down next to Simon.

They lie there panting for what feels like hours, Simon turns to look at Jace who’s rubbing his aching jaw, Simon shifts onto his side and reaches over to trail his fingertips down his jaw.

Jace turns onto his side with Simon still cupping his jaw, he brings his hand up and wraps it around Simons wrist leaning into the hand on his face. 

Simon leans forward and kisses Jace softly, rubbing his thumb over his cheekbone, he pulls back to stare into his mismatched eyes and all he can think is, I could easily fall in love with this man. 

Then he remembers Clary and it’s like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water over him, he jerks back almost falling off the side of the bed but managing to get his balance.

“we shouldn’t have done that, I can’t believe I let this happen again.”

“Bit too late to take it back now Simon.”

Turning to glare at him, Simon huffs and sits up.

“I know that dumbass, this can’t happen again.” Gesturing between the two of them. “we don’t even have the added excuse of being drunk this time, oh god, I’m a terrible best friend.”

Jace grabs Simons shoulders, turning him roughly towards him.

“No matter how many times you say never again, it’s never going to be enough, next time you’ll find me or I’ll find you, either way its gonna happen again. You think you’re the only one who feels shitty about this because trust me it’s not just you, but whatever this is between us I can’t ignore it, it’s like something keeps dragging us back together. I can’t stay away from you and if you say you don’t feel it too, you’re a fucking liar.” Jace says angrily.

Simon gapes at him for a few seconds before surging forward, crashing their lips together, Jace groans and cups the side of his neck, he licks into his mouth kissing back hungrily, falling back onto the bed, pulling Simon on top of him. 

Simon pulls back slowly, looking down at him with intently, raising a hand Simon pushes some of Jace’s hair from his forehead and tucking It begin his ear, it’s a gesture so soft and intimate Jace swallows hard.

“I feel it too and it terrifies me because you’re not mine to keep, you already have someone, who I love and don’t want to hurt, she loves you so much, you’ve been through so much together.”

Simon pauses and cups Jace’s face softly, he rests their foreheads together.

” Your right though, I can’t stay away from you either, I think about you all the time, I just want to be near you.”

Jace smiles softly at him, staring into his eyes, he rubs one hand up and down Simons side soothingly.

“What do you want to do now, about us I mean?”

“I don’t know, I really don’t know, this is one of the worst situations I’ve ever been in.”

“If you say right now, no more, it’s never gonna happen again, you know I’ll respect that right, I promise, we don’t ever have to talk about it again.”

Simon sighs “I don’t want to hurt Clary but like we said, we can’t just walk away, so we don’t tell her, she can never know, you carry on your relationship like nothing’s wrong and we see each other whenever we can.

“You’re okay with that, me staying with Clary?” Jace says frowning

“I have to be, I’m not gonna hurt her like this, we’ve been best friends since we were little, I’m not a good enough friend to never had let this happen in the first place, I’m not a good enough friend to be able to control myself and stay away from you but I can do this, I can control this, making sure she never finds out.”

Simon smiles sadly at him, Jace wraps his arms around him and hugs him close. Simon puts his head down on his chest and wraps an arm around his waist, holding tightly.

Simons lies there thinking about everything, about Clary, about Jace and he wishes he had the strength to say no, not gonna happen again but he doesn’t, so he has to make the best of a bad situation.

“We’ll figure it out.”

Jace whispers to him and Simon smiles lightly, snuggling closer.


	3. This Must Be Love

Simon fell back on the bed panting, Jace sprawled out next to him. It’s been 2 months since there confession at the institute, 2 months of secret meetings, calls and texts. They even went on what Simon would say was a date if this was a normal relationship the other day, he took Jace to an open mic night at a local bar, it was the most fun Simons had in a long time, filled with great music and company.

When Simon thinks about how this started, a drunken mistake that has turned into this, he knows it’s only been 2 months but he’s in too deep now, Simon can say without a shadow of a doubt that he’s in love with Jace, he knows some might say it’s too soon, if he could tell anyone about him and Jace but he’s always fallen hard and fast.

All Jace has to do is smile at Simon and he can feel his world slow down to a single point, just one thing in the world that makes sense and that’s him. It’s like nothing else matters, all the fights he’s had with Raphael and the clan, the lying to his mom about what’s going on with him, all the lying he has to do about Jace, the world could be ending and he wouldn’t notice. 

Simon turns his head to look at Jace, who’s laying on his side already looking at him, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“What are you thinking about?” Simon says rubbing the arm Jace has across his stomach.

Jace stares at him for a few seconds, considering if he wants to say this, if he’s giving too much away but decides he don’t care, if Simon reacts weird he can just play it off as nothing serious.

“I like being here with you, without anyone else around, just us.” He pauses looking for the right word for what he’s feeling “Its peaceful, is that weird?”

Simon smiles at him softly

“I know what you mean, it’s not weird, I feel like I don’t have to worry about anything when I’m with you, the world outside doesn’t exist when we're here, in this room.”

Jace nods at him, Simon turns onto his side sliding his hand up Jace’s neck into his hair as he kisses him, Jace falls onto his back dragging Simon on top of him, all he can feel is Simons naked skin on him from head to toe, he grinds up into Simon who moans and grinds down, Simon breaks the kiss to kiss down his neck, sucking the skin into his mouth leaving behind a dark purple bruise.

He continues to kiss down Jace’s chest when he hears his phone ring but doesn’t stop, whoever is it can damn well wait, Simon smiles when the phone stops ringing and scrapes his teeth across Jace’s hip, he feels Jace slide his hands into his hair and just as he’s about to take Jace into his mouth his phone rings again, groaning Simon crawls back up the bed and straddles Jace’s waist, grinning down at him when Jace tries to stop him from getting the phone, grabbing his phone from the nightstand and answering it without looking.

“What?” Simon says harshly, leaning down and running his hand through Jace’s hair winking at him, Jace smirks at him, sliding his hands up and down his bare hips.

“Simon, are you okay? Oh god, did I interrupt you, are you busy?” 

Simon scrambles up, nearly falling off the bed if not for the grip Jace has on his hips.

“CLARY.” Simon shouts, looking at Jace with wide eyes, who freezes under him.

Jace opens his mouth to say something, but before he can Simon slaps his hand over his mouth glaring at him, Jace glares back pulling his hand off his mouth and he sits up. Simon is still frozen on top of him so he squeezes his hips jerking him out of his thoughts.

“Uh no Clary I’m not busy, I was just napping, you know got to get them 8 hours of sleep a day, otherwise you know, your brain can’t function properly and then bad stuff happens because you can’t think properly and then you die a horrible death If you’re a Shadowhunter or Downworlder.” Simon rambles nervously.

Jace makes a face at him and then has the audacity to actually facepalm shaking his head, _fucking asshole_ Simon thinks.

There’s silence on the other end for a couple of seconds before Clary answers.

“Okay.” Clary says slowly.

“Are you sure you’re okay, your acting weirder then normal?”

“I’m fine.” Simon says voice high.

“If you say so, listen I was calling to ask if you wanted to come out tonight, I was thinking we could all go to the hunter’s moon, have a few drinks, catch up you know, I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, I’ve invited Izzy and Magnus who is dragging Alec with him.”

“Yeah sure, I’d love to come, we haven’t had the time to sit and talk in a while, so it could be fun.” 

“Great” Clary says happily. 

“I haven’t been able to find Jace all day, so I haven’t told him yet but I’ll find him later.” Simon panics when he hears Jace’s name and blurts out. 

“What, Jace, I haven’t seen Jace, why would I have seen Jace?”

“I didn’t ask if you had, I was just saying I haven’t seen him today.” Clary replies confused.

Simons stares at Jace, making a face that clearly says _HELP ME, YOU DICK!_

Jace who is close enough to hear the conversation, huffs and strokes Simons side mouthing calm down and breath.

Nodding Simon takes a deep breath and chuckles a bit.

“No, I know sorry, I thought you did, to be honest I’m still half asleep, so how about you call me back in a couple hours and we can talk then but I’m definitely up for later.” 

“Okay, how about instead of calling you come to the institute and we can discuss details.”

“Sure, I’ll see you in a couple of hours”

They say their goodbyes as Simon ends the call, throwing down the phone, he puts his hands over his face and groans.

“That was the worst experience of my life.” He pauses before continuing. “Well probably second worst, the first was you know, dying.” Simon mumbles.

Jace tugs on his wrists, Simon lets his hands drop and looks at Jace who’s looking at him sympathetically.

“I’m sorry you had to do that okay, I mean it.” Jace says stroking soothingly over his hipbone.

Simon slides his hands up Jace’s arms and around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his hair.

“I know.” Simon whispers nodding.

Jace closes the distance between them and kisses him, sliding his tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss, Simon kisses back with a passion and intensity he hasn’t felt with anyone else. Simon pulls back first sighing.

“What’s wrong.” Jace says frowning

“You heard Clary on the phone right.”

He nods at Simon but doesn’t elaborates, he doesn’t know where he’s going with this.  
Simon rolls his eyes.

“She wants all of us to go out, together I mean, we haven’t really been in a group since we started this, I haven’t had to see you with her because I’ve kind of been keeping my distance, I thought it was for the best but now I’m thinking it was the wrong move because I Haven’t seen you with her and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.

I know I’m the other women, well man in this case but it doesn’t mean I know how to handle this situation, what if I say something about us and she figures it out or someone else does, what do we do then huh? maybe I shouldn’t go, yeah I’m gonna tell Clary I can’t go.”

Simon finishes panting, which is weird because he doesn’t need to breath, can vampires have panic attacks? Simon thinks, he doesn’t know but he thinks he’s about to have one.

Jace reaches up to cup Simons face, making sure he’s focused on him.

“Hey, Hey, shhh, breath Simon, I’ve got you, were going to be fine, I promise, do you trust me?”

Simon looks at Jace with wide eyes but nods his head, of course he trusts Jace, with his life he wants to say, except for the small matter that he still can’t breathe.

Jace puts his forehead to Simons and takes slow deliberate breaths, waiting for his breathing to even out before continuing.

“I promise you Simon, everything is going to be okay.” he says softly and pulls back.

“Would I lie to you?” Jace adds with a cocky grin.

Startlingly a laugh out of him .

“Yes, all the time.”

“Maybe some of the time.” Jace says teasingly.

Laughing Simon dips his head and gives Jace a quick peck.

“Thank you.”

“No problem, I meant what I said, it is gonna be okay, we just have to act like we normal do,”

“You mean go back to hating each other.”

Jace shrugs one shoulder and smiles at him.

Simon heart flips when Jace smiles at him and he cups his cheek, he’s said it before and he will say it again, he loves that smile, it makes him feel like everything is fine, that he can do anything, be anything he wants.

He really is beautiful, hair so blonde its practically yellow, his mismatched eyes, that stare so intensely at him it’s like he’s looking into his very soul, he’s like the sun Simon thinks, pulling him further and further into his orbit, no chance in hell of ever getting out, Simon strokes his thumb across his cheekbone.

“I don’t think I could pretend to hate you, not now, not after everything that’s happened.” Simon says softly.

Jace eyes soften at him and he presses a kiss to his lips.

“Me neither but we have to, we can do this, just got to act normal.”

Simon huffs a laugh “when were we ever normal?”

“Hey, I’m normal” Jace says incredulously.

Simon give him a deadpan look.

“You’re an angle blooded Shadowhunter who kills demons for a living, I’ve literally seen your eyes glow and your fucking a vampire. What about any of that is normal?”

Jace rolls his eyes “Well, when you put it like that.”

Simon smiles at Jace fondly, letting out a sigh and running a hand through Jace’s hair, he can feel those three little words on the tip of his tongue but he chokes them back, now is definitely not the time, he doesn’t think there is ever gonna be a right time but for right now, Simon will take what he can get.

“I should probably get back to the institute”

Simon hums, he drags his hands down Jace’s chest “What, now?”

Jace shivers “I suppose it could wait 10 minutes.”

“10 minutes, try half hour.”

Pushing Jace back on the bed, following him down and pulling him into a deep kiss.


	4. If You Can't Say It, Sing It

Simon turns up at the institute a couple hours after Jace left his house and he can honestly say that he is freaking the fuck out, what the fuck is he even doing here, why did he agree to this. 

Simon is seriously considering turning around and running home but then he thinks of Clary's excited voice when he agreed to go and knows he can't do it to her.

He's missed her so much, even though when he does see her it's like someone punched him in the gut, he can't handle the guilt, which is why he's been avoiding the institute and Clary as much as he can because when it's just him and Jace he forgets about all of that, till he has to leave again and it all comes rushing back.

"Get a grip, you're doing this for Clary because she's your best friend and you love her, and she asked you too." Simon mumbles to himself.

He barely has time to turn to the door before he's got a face full of fiery red hair, coughing and spluttering the hair from his mouth, Clary pulls back chuckling.

"Sorry, I'm just so happy to see you." She says linking her arm through his and leading him through the institute.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, where have you been?"

Simon ducks his head and winces.

"I know Clary sorry, I've just been busy you know, my mom won't let me out of her sight since I moved back home."

Clary stops and turns to look at him.

"It's okay, I forgive you and your here now, just promise me that we'll spend more time together, I miss it sometimes, when it was just you and me."

Simon hums and nods, he can't look at her and he needs to pull himself together, Clary knows him the best out of everyone and she's going to know something's wrong if he can't look her in the eye.

Clary waves and smiles brightly at something over his shoulder, Simon frowns and turns, only to freeze and stare wide eyed when he sees Jace.

He's stood in the training room with Alec, they've obviously been training, Jace is stood shirtless by the bench, running a towel over his face and hair, Jace locks eyes with Simon and smirks lightly.

Clary says something to him, but he doesn't hear a word, too busy ogling Jace, he's pretty sure he's doing it on purpose, nobody needs to stretch that much, he can see how his back arches when he stretches his hands above his head.

Clary turns to talk to someone he's never seen before and while she's distracted he turns back to Jace, who's already looking back at him, looking over to see Alec has already gone back to the punch bag.

Simon lets his eyes run down Jace's chest watching as a bead of swear runs down the planes of his abs and all he can think about is how much he wants to lick it off, when he realizes what he's doing his eyes snap back to Jace's face who's looking at him smugly.

 _'You're a dick'_ Simon mouths at him.

 _'You want my dick'_ Jace mouths back smirking.

Simon's stood there gaping after Jace's retreating back, when he feels Clary lack their arms together again and continue walking.

"You okay? you look a little flushed."

Damn Jace and his gorgeous face and body, and damn himself for feeding before he came here, you can see his flushed face a lot more now.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little warm in here." Simon lies.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Clary sighs when they stop outside her bedroom and turns to him. "If you don't want to come, you don't have to, I'll understand, I just thought this could be fun for all of us."

Simon looks at Clary's sad face and feels his guilt intensify, all Clary wants is for them to spend time together, and all Simon's doing it flirting with her boyfriend when her backs turned and thinking about when he can slip away to find him.

Simon plasters on a smile and takes a deep breath, he can do this, for Clary.

"I'm fine, I promise come on, let's go get you ready."

She beams at him and hugs him tightly before dragging him into her bedroom where Izzy's waiting, rambling on about all the outfits she's picked out and need his opinion on.

\--------------------

" So Simon, you gonna sing tonight."

"Nah, not tonight guys, sorry."

"Oh come on, the stage is free, just one song." Clary begs.

Simon sighs, he's definitely not in the mood for this, having to sit here all night and watch Jace and Clary be all over each other is a lot harder then he thought it would be, he knows he has no right to be jealous but he can't help it, all he wants is to be sat where Clary is, with Jace at his side, not hers.

He's angry too, angry how easy Jace finds this, too sit there and pretend that nothing's happened, that nothing's changed, that not 6 hours ago they weren't in Simon's bed fucking like rabbits, now he's sat here watching as Jace puts his arm around Clary, leans in to whisper something in her ear and watches as she giggles and plants a kiss on his lips, Simon has to grit his teeth and look away.

"Well, go on then Sherwin." Magnus teases.

Simon rolls his eyes. "That was not even close and you know it."

Simon makes his way to the stage, thinking about the song he's gonna sing, when one pops into his head, he contemplates if he wants to sing it, knowing that if he does Jace is going to know it's about him, about them and the fucked up situation their in, but in the end his jealous, vindictive side wins out and he thinks _FUCK IT!_

The pub goes quiet when he steps on the stage, he goes over to the DJ and tells him his song choice.

"Hey, I'm Simon, uh I've sung in here a few times before and my friends forced me to sing tonight, so here goes, I hope you enjoy."

The music starts and Simon closes his eyes, remembering the time when he and Jace were lounging in bed after an enthusiastic round of sex, when this song came on, remembering laughing and joking about what the song was about, how it applies to them, remembers how happy he was, he always plays it when Jace comes over, just so he can hear him laugh.

_'Oh my, oh my, oh my_  
Oh my, oh my, oh my  
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my 

_It ain't my fault you keep turning me on_  
It ain't my fault you got, got me so gone  
It ain't my fault I'm not leavin' alone  
It ain't my fault you keep turning me on 

_I can't talk right now, I'm looking and I like what I'm seeing_  
Got me feeling kinda shocked right now  
Couldn't stop right now, even if I wanted  
Gotta get it, get it, get it, while it's hot right now  
Oh my God, what is this?  
Want you all in my business  
Baby, I insist, Please don't blame me for what ever happens next' 

Simon can hear some people in the crown singing along, cheering him on and he smiles because this is where he feels most free, where he can always go to get out all the feelings he has and not be judged for it.

He risks a glance up to where Jace is say with everyone else, looks at how happy they are to hear him sing, clapping along with the music and whistling. He casts a look at Jace before he looks back out to the rest of the pub, he's at straight in his chair, shoulders tense, jaw clenched not taking his eyes off Simon.

_'No, I can't be responsible_  
If I get you in trouble now  
See you're too irresistible  
Yeah, that's for sure 

_So if I put your hands where my eyes can't see_  
Then you're the one who's got a hold on me  
No, I can't be responsible, responsible 

_It ain't my fault (No, no, no, no, no, no, no)_  
It ain't my fault (No, no, no, no, no, no, no)  
It ain't my fault' 

Simon looks directly into Jace's eyes when he sings the next verse, raising his eyebrow and looking at him with as much anger as he can.

_'It ain't my fault you came in looking like that_  
You just made me trip, fall, and land on your lap  
Certain bad boy smooth, body hotter than a sauna 

_I don't mean to be rude, but I look so damn good on ya_

_Ain't got time right now_  
Missed me with that "what's your name, your sign" right now  
It's light outside, I just called an Uber and it's right outside  
Oh my God, what is this?  
Want you all in my business  
Baby I insist, Please don't blame me for what ever happens next' 

He finally takes his eyes off Jace hoping he would look away first but he doesn't.

_'No, I can't be responsible_  
If I get you in trouble now  
See you're too irresistible  
Yeah, that's for sure 

_So if I put your hands where my eyes can't see_  
Then you're the one who's got a hold on me  
No, I can't be responsible, responsible 

_It ain't my fault_  
It ain't my fault  
It ain't my fault 

_Baby, one, two, three_  
Your body's calling me  
And I know wherever it is  
It's exactly where I wanna be  
But don't blame me  
It ain't my fault  
It ain't my fault  
It ain't my fault 

_So if I put your hands where my eyes can't see_  
Then you're the one who's got a hold on me  
No, I can't be responsible, responsible 

_It ain't my fault you got me so caught_  
It ain't my fault  
It ain't my fault you got me so caught  
It ain't my fault  
Oh, well, that's too bad it ain't my fault!' 

He's panting when the music stops, can hear everyone cheering and whopping for him, Simon looks over to where everyone is sitting and sees them on their feet cheering for him, he smiles at them and takes a small bow. He looks at Jace who's watching him with a blank look but is still clapping with the rest of them and suddenly feels embarrassed, God what was Simon thinking, he's acting like a 12-year-old girl.

He never wants Jace to look at him like that, it hurts too much, too much like how it was before, when they couldn't stand each other but it's okay, Simon's gonna fix it, he's gonna make Jace smile again.

"Thank you, thanks, if it's okay with you guys, would it be okay if I sang another song?"

The crowd cheer and Simon chuckles into the mic.

"Um, I was wondering if anyone who came to sing tonight bought a guitar with them or if you have one in the back Maia?"

"I bought mine." A random girl raises her hand.

"Can I borrow it for a minute?"

"Sure." She nods, walking to the stage to hand it too him.

"Thank you."

He smiles at her as he grabs an empty chair from one of the tables, sitting down and adjusting the mic.

"Now, I wrote this song recently, I wasn't sure if I was ever gonna sing it to a crowd, didn't know if it was ready or if I even wanted to but for you guys, how could I not."

He hears the crowd go silent and Clary shout encouragement to him, he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes when he plucks the first chords of the song, knowing he's about to reveal too much to Jace.

He meant it when he said he wasn't ever going to sing this song to a crowd, it felt wrong every time he's thought about it before but for some reason now feels like the right time.

_'I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart  
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start_

_You put your arms around me_  
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go  
You put your arms around me and I'm home 

_How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?  
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown_

_I hope that you see right through my walls_  
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling  
I'll never let our love get so close  
You put your arms around me and I'm home' 

Simon opens his eyes and looks out into the crowd, sees people swaying to the gentle strum of the guitar, people putting their arms around there partners and yet he can't bring himself to look in Jace's direction yet, he's too scared of what he's going to see.

_'The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved  
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone_

_You put your arms around me  
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go...'_

Simon finally looks at his table, takes in the faces of his friends looking back at him in awe, Izzy and Clary beaming back at him, Magnus sliding his hand into Alec's and tangling their fingers together. 

Then finally Jace, who has so many emotions flickering across his face Simon can't catch a single one.

He doesn't take his eyes off Jace for the rest of the song, couldn't even if he wanted too and he doesn't. He forgets anyone else is in the room and just sings, pouring every emotion he feels into the song and bearing his soul.

_'I hope that you see right through my walls_  
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling  
I'll never let our love get so close  
You put your arms around me and I'm home 

_I try my best to never let you in to see the truth_  
And I've never opened up  
I've never truly loved till you put your arms around me  
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go 

_I hope that you see right through my walls_  
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling  
I'll never let our love get so close  
You put your arms around me and I'm home 

_You put your arms around me and I'm home'_

Simon sings the last line softly, letting the guitar trail off slowly, it remains silent for a beat, like the whole place is holding its breath, before everyone erupts into loud cheering and clapping, Simon smiles softly to the audience, remaining in the chair and soaking up the praise, this is one of the things he loves about singing, seeing other people's reactions to his songs.

He jumps down from the stage, returning the guitar he borrowed from the girl, before walking back to his friends, as soon as he's close enough Clary throws herself at him and has to react fast to catch her or end up sprawled out on the floor.

"OH MY GOD! That was so amazing, I'm so proud of you." Clary squeals in his ear.

"Thank you." Simon replies, squeezing his arms around her.

She finally pulls back and as soon as she lets go Izzy is there to take her place, Magnus is next giving him a warm smile and a hug, praising him on his song, even Alec giving him a friendly nod and a well done. Then his eyes find Jace who's walking towards him, he tenses and fiddles with the cuffs of his shirt.

Jace claps him on the back and squeeze's his shoulder lightly, letting his hand trail along his shoulder as he lets it drop, Jace's face is carefully controlled but up-close Simon can see a tightness to his eyes and oddly enough his eyes look like there glowing a little bit.

Simon opens his mouth to say something when Jace cuts him off, swinging around to face the group and asking if anyone wants a drink, they all nod at him.

Simon frowns, is that is, he's not gonna say anything, not even a 'well done, you've got a good voice.' or 'That was a good song you wrote.' What a fucking asshole.

Simon freezes when Jace leans in slightly and whispers, considering all the noise in the bar, he's surprised he even heard him, even with his enhanced hearing.

"Meet me in the toilets."

He watches as Jace walks off to the bar, turning to look back at the table and seeing that no one seems to have noticed anything, Simon slips away from the group and into the toilets, it's empty when he gets in there which is good because he's freaking out a little bit, what does Jace want?, is he gonna come in all guns blazing?, shouting and cursing him for getting in to deep when it was only supposed to be some fun.

What if he wants to talk about the song he wrote, Simon doesn't think he can, he bared to much just then, let too many feelings out.

 _'I should leave'_ Simon thinks, before Jace comes in, just slip through the bar, past Clary, past Jace and get lost in the crowd, they'll never see him leave, there's too many people out there.

As he is thinking through his escape plan, he doesn't notice the door open till he hears it slamming closed making him jump, his head snaps up locking eyes with Jace and freezes.

He stares at Jace refusing to move or speak first, wanting to know what Jace is thinking before he says anything, when it looks like Jace isn't going to break the silence first, he suddenly stalks forward grabbing Simon by the collar of his jacket and slamming him against the wall.

"You just had to sing that song didn't you."

Simon sighs in relief, okay they are obviously ignoring the one he wrote, that's good, Simon thinks he can fix this.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that, I was just so angry at you, at Clary, the fucking situation, I overreacted and we both know that I can be a bit dramatic when I want to be, I didn't mean it."

Jace blinks slowly at him and tilts his head just staring at him, Simon looks back confused.

"Liar." Jace whispers.

"What, liar about what?"

"Your telling me you didn't mean anything in that song."

"Nope, not one thing." Simon pauses. "Okay, maybe somethings because you know, your hot and stuff and it _aint_ my fault, I blame you, I push all the blame firmly onto your shoulders."

Jace frowns at him. "Huh."

"Okay, I'm confused, I feel like we're having too different conversations."

Jace lets go of Simon's collar but stays close and sighs.

"I mean the song you wrote Simon, not the first one, I don't give a shit if you sang that one, I thought you had balls to sing it, considering why you probably thought of it."

Simon just stares blankly at him, he really want to run, but even with his speed and enhanced reflexes Jace would still catch him before he could get out.

"Did you write it for me?" Jace asks softly.

When Simon doesn't answer, Jace grans his coat again, pushing him back into the wall.

"Answer me, did you mean it, is the song about me?"

He can't speak, too scared of what he wants to say, he contemplates saying nothing and hoping Jace gives up and leaves but one at Jace's pleading face has him nodding his head softly.

Jace sighs in relief and closes his eyes, letting his head rest softly against Simon's.

"Say the words Simon."

"What." Simon says quietly.

Jace pulls back looking deep into his eyes.

"Say the words." Jace repeats softly.

No way Simon thinks, don't say a fucking word, he probably just wants me to say it, so he can laugh in my face, and watch as he breaks my heart, just say no thanks asshole and leave.

"I love you." Simon blurts, he sucks in a sharp breath, no, no ,no that's not what he meant to say.

Simon stares horrified and squeeze's his eyes closed waiting for the inevitable laughter, when that doesn't come, Simon slowly opens his eyes and looks at Jace, who's watching him with soft eyes, he cups his cheek stroking his thumb over Simon's cheekbone.

"I love you too."

Simon laughs. "What, you do?"

Jace nods, smiling back at him.

He loves me, Jace Herondale is in love with me.

Simon surges forward, crashing their mouths together, deepening the kiss as soon as their lips touch, Jace chuckles against his mouth, kissing back with everything he has, trying to pour all the love he feels for him into the kiss.

Jace drags Simon into one of the toilet stalls, slamming the door closes and locking it, before crowding Simon against the wall.

Jace nips at his neck, trailing his hands down his arms, grabbing his wrists and pinning them above his head, he dives back in capturing his lips, slowly coaxing his lips open, plunging his tongue into Simon's mouth, slipping one of his legs between Simon's.

Simon moans into his mouth, grinding their erections together, feeling Jace's answering moan, Jace release's Simon's wrists and starts to unbutton his shirt, bending down to kiss down his chest, taking one of Simon's nipples into his mouth, grazing his teeth around the nub.

Simon moans, grabbing Jace's hair and tugging him up into a desperate kiss.

"Please, Jace." He whines into his mouth.

Jace smirks at him before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a condom and lube.

"You seriously came prepared." Simon says amused.

He shrugs his shoulders. "I knew I would get you alone at some point tonight." Jace say smugly.

Simon rolls his eyes and shakes his head, the cocky bastard.

Jace dives back in for another kiss, he could never get enough of kissing Simon, trailing his fingertips down his chest, reaching the waist band of his jeans, fumbling with the zipper.

He manages to get Simon's jeans and boxers down his thighs, grabbing his arm and spinning him around to face the wall, Simon braces his arms against the wall, arching his back.

Jace tears open the packet of lube, Jace lubed up his fingers and lightly pressed at Simon's hole, pressing one into his entrance, pulling it in and out slowly, Jace added a second finger, starting slowly, teasing at Simon's rim.

He can hear Simon moaning through it, he presses his second finger into Simon entrance too the first knuckle and Simon exhaled breathily.

“That feels good.” he breathed as Jace pushed his fingers in further, 

Simon opened his legs wider and tried to force himself further onto Jace's fingers.

He whines when Jace grabs hold of his hip with his other hand and pins him in place.

"No moving Simon, I mean it."

He huffs but nods holding himself still, he knows Jace, they've done this so many times and if he doesn't listen Jace will drag this out for as long as he can.

Jace pulls back and adds more lube to his fingers, inserting a third finger along with the others, Simon moans loudly when Jace begins pumping his fingers in and out.

"Come on Jace, I'm ready, Please." Simon begs

Jace leans in and starts kissing up Simon's neck, biting it and sucking, he crooks his finger's and Simon bucks forward, moaning out loudly, he finally pulls his fingers out, wiping the extra lube on his jeans, before he tugs at Simon's arm turning him around.

Simon wraps his hand around the nape of his neck and pulls Jace in for a kiss, clacking their teeth together, he quickly undoes his jeans and tugs them down, Jace pulls back and rips the condom open with his teeth, rolling it down his cock.

"You ready?" Jace asks.

Simon nods back at him and Jace wraps his hand around the backs of Simon's thighs before lifting him up the stall wall, Simon lets out a sound he will forever deny he made in surprise and quickly wraps his arms and legs around Jace.

He lines himself up, before he pushes in slowly, letting Simon adjust to the stretch, he holds himself still when he's buried deep in Simon, leaning forward to leave little kisses up and down his throat, Simon groans and wiggles his hips.

Jace starts to move slowly at first, pulling nearly all the way out before slamming back in, Simon moans and runs his hands through Jace's hair, grasping the strands in his fingers and using the grip to pull Jace into a deep kiss.

"Fuck me." Simon gasps into Jace's mouth.

Jace groans, tucking his head into Simon's neck and slamming into him, fucking him with everything he has, he tilts his hips at an angle that had Simon crying out and clenching around him, Simon grinds down onto Jace cock, gasping into his ear and whispering encouragement to him.

"Come on, I'm so close." Simon says digging his nails into Jace's back.

Jace wraps one of his hands around Simon's cock and strokes it in time with his thrusts.

Jace leans down to kiss him, sucking on his tongue, he leans his forehead on Simon's looking into his eyes, and it's like the world goes quiet, everything comes down to this moment, just them in here, he can't hear anything outside, all he can hear is Simon's breathing and his own heartbeat.

Jace cups his cheek and just stares into his eyes, slowing down his thrusts, Simon smiles at him and he suddenly feels like he can't breath, God he loves him, he's never felt this strongly before, never loved someone as much as he loves Simon and it scares the hell out of him.

He shakes himself out of his thoughts and picks up the speed again, they've been in here awhile, the others must be wondering where they are.

Simon wraps both his hands around Jace's face, kissing him softly and slowly before pulling back and panting into his mouth.

"I love you." Simon gasps, staring into his eyes.

There's something so intimate about it, saying it while staring into his eyes as he fucks him.

Jace's breath hitches. "I love you too."

That's it, that's all Simon needed before he's cumming, crying out Jace's name, he fucks him through it and it's not long before he's following behind him spilling into the condom, they stay that way for a few seconds, just breathing together.

Jace moves first, moving back, he leans forward and kisses Simon softly nudging his nose against Simon's, he pulls out slowly and sets Simon down on wobbly knees, they get cleaned up quickly, aware of how much time has passed since they came in here.

Jace is splashing his face with water when Simon comes out the stall doing up his jeans, he leans back against the sink and pulls Simon too him, sliding his hands around his waist, Simon wraps his arms around his shoulders.

Jace kisses him softly, traveling up to his forehead leaving little kisses, before kissing his brow and bumping their foreheads together affectionately, Simon smiles softly at him.

"We have to go back."

"I know, I think I'm just gonna head home though."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, just tell them I didn't feel very well or something."

"We can meet up tomorrow, you know, to talk about all this."

Simon chuckles. "The great Jace Herondale wants to talk about his feelings."

"Well, there pretty big feelings." Jace smirks back at him.

Simon's eyes soften. "I'd love too, I'll text you tomorrow, you can come round, my mom will be at work." 

Jace nods and with a parting kiss Simon steps away from him and walks to the door.

"Simon."

Simon turns with his hand on the door.

"I love you." Jace says.

Simon beams back at him. "I love you too."

Simon walks out the bathroom with a parting glance back at Jace, before he's slipping through the bar, he looks over at his friends and sees them all laughing and talking, and smiles, he takes a deep breath when he finally gets outside.

Letting the cold air wash over him, he has no idea what he's gonna do now, Jace loves him back, that changes everything, he doesn't want to share anymore, he wants all of him and he's gonna get it because if there's one thing Simon Lewis is it's stubborn, and when he sets him mind to something he doesn't back down.

He'll do whatever it takes to keep Jace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zara Larson - Ain't My Fault
> 
> Christina Perri - Arms
> 
> I think these 2 songs are perfect Jimon songs and I just had to have Simon sing them.


	5. The Future Looks Bright

Simon is pacing outside Magnus’ door debating if he should knock or just go home, after everything that’s been happening with Jace, Simon needs someone to talk too and the only person he thought of, the only friends he knows wouldn’t judge him is Magnus.

He knows Magnus would listen to everything he has to say and he knows Magnus would give him unbias advice. The situation is taken out of his hands when the door swings open, Simon freezes in his pacing, staring wide eyed at Magnus.

“You’ve been pacing outside my door for 10 minutes now, what can I do for you Sigmund?” Magnus asks.

Simon blinks dumbly at Magnus as he turns and walks back into the loft, leaving the door open on invitation, Simon hurries to follow him, closing the door behind him.

When Simon walk further into the loft Magnus is at his drinks cabinet mixing himself a drink, Magnus looks over at Simon, who has resumed his pacing in the living room.

“Drink?” Magnus asks.

Simon shakes his head. “No, thank you.”

Magnus finishes making his drink and sits down on his couch in front of Simon looking at him pointedly.

Simon freezes and gapes at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“Well, spit it out, Shannon.”

Simon huffs and mutters. “That’s a girl’s name, you know.”

He’s quiet for a few more seconds, before taking a deep breath. “I’m seeing someone.”

Magnus blinks slowly at him, taking a sip of his drink. “Okay.” He says confused.

“Oh Magnus, I fucked up, I fucked up bad.” Simon says, starting to pace again.

Magnus lets him pace for a few seconds, before interrupting. “Tell me what’s wrong, how did you fuck up?”

“I.” Simon hesitates.

“You came here for a reason Simon, if you just want to talk, I’ll listen.”

“It’s been going on for a couple of months, we went out, had a few drinks, probably too many. I woke up in the morning and he was in my bed and I knew, I knew it couldn’t happen again, we agreed on that,”

Simon takes an unnecessary breath and looks at Magnus, who’s listening calmly.

“But it did happen again, and it keeps happening, I don’t know what we are anymore, we go out places, we don’t call them dates but I think we both know they are, that’s what they feel like and yesterday I told him I loved him,” Simon sits down on the coffee table, facing Magnus.

“And he said it back, he said it back Magnus.” Simon finishes desperately.

Magnus contemplates what he’s said before replying, replaying it in his head. “Okay, lets start at the beginning, why couldn’t you see this guy again, after the first time.”

Simons quiet for a long time before Magnus speaks again.

“Come on, I can’t help you, if you don’t tell me everything.”

“He’s already with someone,” Simon winces. “He has a girlfriend.” He answers quietly, staring down at the floor.

Saying it all out loud for the first time, makes it more real, his best friends boyfriend is cheating on her _with him_.

“Simon,” Simon only looks up when Magnus puts a hand on top of his. “I’m not judging you.”

Simon laughs humourlessly. “I know you’re not, but I am, I’m judging me, I’m a terrible person magnus.”

“Hey, no none of that,” Magnus says moving to the edge of his seat, to get closer to Simon, ducking his head to catch his eyes. “You got yourself into a bad situation, that’s not your fault, you can’t help who you fall in love with, if anyone’s in the wrong, it’s him he’s the one with the girlfriend, not you.”

“No, it’s not all him, it’s both our faults, I could have said no, I could have come clean with his girlfriend, just get it all out in the open, after the first time but I didn’t.”

Magnus frowns. “Why do I get the feeling, you’re not telling me something?”

Simon was debating about this on the walk over, if he should say something, if he should admit it was Jace, he doesn’t want to make this anymore complicated and he doesn’t want to bring Magnus into his mess but he’s so tired, he needs someone to just know, know who he loves, know who he spends his time with.

He just needs someone he can be completely honest with and normally he would go to Clary, but he can’t for obvious reason.

“I kind of know his girlfriend.”

Magnus raises his eyebrows at him. “You kind of know his girlfriend.” He repeats.

Simon nods his head slowly. “And how pray tell, do you know his girlfriend?”

Simon shrugs his shoulders, making Magnus glare at him. “Right, who is he?”

He shakes his head frantically. “You obviously came here for my advice and for someone to listen, but I can’t give you my advice, if you don’t tell me everything.”

“Jace,” Simon finally shouts out. “It’s Jace, I’ve been sleeping with Jace, I’m in love with Jace.” He rushes out.

Magnus sits there stunned, out of everybody he would have put on a list, Jace would have been at the bottom, if he was even on the list at all, something Simon said earlier makes him pause.

“He loves you too, you said earlier.” Magnus askes.

Simon nods at him. “Oh, Simon.” Magnus whispers.

That’s what does it, the pity in Magnus’ voice, he can feel his throat close up, tears stinging his eyes and before he knows it, he bursts out crying.

Magnus slides to his knees in front of Simon and pulls him into his arms, letting him cry into his chest.

Magnus runs his hand through his hair, soothing him as best he can. “Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Simon manages to pull himself together after a few minutes, pulling back to wipe the tears from his face.

“Tell me what to do Magnus?” Simon asks, voice cracking with emotion.

Magnus sighs, reaching up to brush his hair away from his face, he lets his hand fall, cupping Simon’s cheek in his palm.

“I can’t do that, only you know the answer to that question.”

“You must really love him, you know, considering.” Magnus asks, talking about Clary, without saying her name.

Simon smiles softly. “Yeah, he’s so different when he’s with me, he’s the Jace he doesn’t let a lot of people see, he makes me laugh more than anyone I know, and he makes me feel normal again, is that weird?”

Magnus chuckles. “Not at all, it’s exactly how Alexander makes me feel.”

Their quiet for a while before Magnus tentatively asks. “What about Clary?”

“I don’t know, after the first time, we agreed it could never happen again but it was like a switch had been flicked, and every time I looked at him I wanted him, I can’t help it, I know I’m a terrible friend, you don’t have to tell me that and if this was happening to somebody else, I’d tell them they had to tell the truth or end it, but it’s not that simple anymore.

After he told me he loved me, everything changed because of it, I want him, but I want all of him, I don’t want to share him anymore, but you want to know the funny thing, the real kicker, I’m not sharing him with her, she’s sharing him with me but doesn’t even know it because I’m the bit on the side, I’m the one he has to keep secret.”

Simon has tears in his eyes again by the time he’s finished, hastily reaching up to wipe them away before they can fall.

“I think you already know what you want to do, and if you do, why are you asking me, you know Simon, the truth always comes out in the end, you can’t keep these things secrets, and if she finds out from someone or something else, it’s going to be so much worse, this isn’t good for any of you."

“I know, but I can’t do it by myself, Jace has to want it to, he has to want to be with me and only me.” Simon explains.

“Then talk to him, you need to have that conversation and see where you both stand now because when your heart gets involved, everything changes.” Magnus implores.

Simon looks at Magnus gratefully. “Thanks Magnus, and I’m sorry you got involved but you’re the only person I could think to talk to.”

“Simon,” Magnus says seriously. “You can always talk to me, about anything.”

“Do you think I’m a bad person.” Simon asks quietly.

“No,” Magnus answers firmly. “All you did was fall in love, you couldn’t help that.”

Simon nods. “You can’t tell anyone Magnus, promise me, not even Alec.”

Magnus hesitates. “We promised we wouldn’t keep secrets anymore, not after last time.”

“Magnus please, I know what happened before, but this has nothing to do with your relationship, so it’s fine, if Jace wants to tell Alec then he can and then you can talk about it, please I’m asking you as my friend, please don’t say anything.” Simon pleads with him.

"It's about his parabatai." Simon just watches him with pleading eyes, before Magnus sighs.

“Okay Simon, I won’t say anything.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.” Magnus vows.

Simon breaths a sigh of relief and smiles at him. 

He hugs Magnus tight when he leaves, thanking him again for everything.

\--------------------

Simon texted Jace, as he walked home, letting him know he was gonna be home, so he could come around when he’s ready. He’s jittery as he waits for Jace, he knows he only saw him yesterday, but he’s missed him, he was supposed to go around this morning as planned but an unexpected mission came up, so he couldn’t.

He feels emotional drained after his talk with Magnus, he just wants to hug him, have Jace hold him close and never let him go. He’s broken out of his thoughts by a knock at the door, he rushes over, pausing before opening it to smooth down his cloths and hair.

When Simon opens the door, it’s like the world right’s itself when he sees Jace smiling at him, he looks as handsome as ever, if not a little tired, he also has a little cut above his temple, the only evidence he was fighting demons not long ago.

“You going to let me in, or do you want me to stand out here all day?” Jace asks teasingly.

Simon rolls his eyes and grins, reaching out and grabbing him by his t-shirt, using it to drag him inside, once the doors closed he immediately throws his arms around Jace’s neck, tucking his face against his shoulder, breathing in his scent, he instantly feels better, like the whole world bleeds away around them.

“You okay.” Jace asks concerned, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Yeah, it’s been a long day, I missed you.” Simon says voice muffled where it’s tucked into his shoulder.

Jace tightens his arms around his waist. “I missed you too, I’m sorry I couldn’t get away earlier.” 

Simon shakes his head. “It’s fine.

They stand there holding each other for a few minutes, before Jace breaks the silence.

“We need to talk, I need to tell you something.”

Simon tenses in his arms, pulling back abruptly, moving so he’s out of reach, he wraps his arms around himself.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Simon asks quietly, he knows they’re not in a relationship, but he doesn’t know how else to say it, saying _‘Are you ending our affair’_ makes it feel dirty and wrong.

Jace’s eyes grow wide. “No,” He says firmly, moving to grab his shoulders. “Never, why’d you even think that?”

“You said ‘We need to talk’, nothing good comes after someone says that sentence.”

Jace winces. “Probably not the best way to phrase it, I’ll give you that.”

Simon laughs lightly. “No shit, you’re really not leaving.”

“No, I promise.” Jace reassures him quietly.

“What do we need to talk about then?”

“I told Alec about us, and before you freak out, he’s not gonna say anything, I’m sorry, he thought I was acting weird and wouldn’t leave me alone, we’re parabatai, he can feel what I’m feeling, I had to tell him.” 

Simon stands there stunned, Jace told Alec about them, Simon kind of what’s to laugh at the absurdness of it all, he tells Magnus the same day Jace tells Alec. 

“Simon, please say something, I’m sorry.”

“I told Magnus about us.” Simon blurts out.

“What, when?”

“Today, I went to see him, when you said you couldn’t make it this morning, I just needed someone to talk to about all this.” Simon answers.

“Okay, so Alec and Magnus know about us.”

“Yep, looks that way.” Simon says.

Jace slides his hands around Simon waist and leans in to kiss him.

“I did realise something earlier, when I was talking to Alec.” Jace says when they pull back.

“Oh yeah, what’s that then.”

“I want to be with you, properly I mean.”

Simon blinks at him slowly, he feels like his brain has shut down.

“What do you mean properly?” Simon questions, hope building in his chest.

“I mean, I want to tell Clary about us, I want all of you Simon, I don’t want to hide anymore, I want everyone to know I love you.”

Simon feels like he might cry, he has to swallow past the lump in his throat.

“I love you, so much,” Simon says taking Jace’s face in his hands. “I want nothing more, than to be with you properly, and if you’re sure, we’ll tell her the truth.”

“I’m sure,” Jace replies immediately. “Are you ready for this because it’s gonna get bad before it gets better.”

“I want this, I want you, more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”

Jace surges forward and captures Simon’s lips in a hungry kiss.

“Take me to bed.” Simon whispers against his lips.

Jace grabs Simon hand, tugging him along and up the stairs, they fall into Simon’s bedroom, making sure to shut the door behind them, Simon pins Jace against the door, trailing kisses down the side of his neck, pulling his jacket off and reaching for the hem of his t-shirt, Jace raises his arms, letting Simon yank the shirt off him and throwing it somewhere behind him, he reaches for Simon, pulling his shirt off before he can even blink.

They stumble to the bed losing their clothes along the way, and falling onto Simon’s bed in a tangle of limbs.

Simon straddles his waist, leaning over he rummages through the bedside table, throwing lube and a condom onto the bed beside him, Jace shuffles up the bed so he’s leaning against the headboard, he makes quick work of opening himself up, while Jace plants kisses up and down his chest and sucking hickies into his neck.

Simon’s a moaning mess by the time he sinks down into Jace’s cock, taking it slowly, inch by inch, until he’s fully seated, Simon leans forward and rests their heads together for a few seconds.

Simon moves slowly at first, sliding all the way up, till Jace’s cock is almost falling out, before slamming back down, Jace moans loudly, gripping his hips tightly, guiding him up and down his cock.

Jace wraps one hand around his neck and pulls him in for a deep kiss, lips and tongues moving together slowly, Simon pulls back staring into Jace’s eyes as he fucks himself slowly up and down his cock, Jace keeps his hand wrapped around his neck, just watching him.

Simon realises with a jolt, that this is not fucking, this is making love, the intensity of it, the love he sees is Jace’s eyes, the awe as he watches him, Simon can feel his orgasm building slowly, it feels like it’s starting in his toes and crawling up his body, leaving tingles in its wake.

It only takes a few more seconds, when Jace’s cock brushes against that little bundle of nerves inside him again and he’s coming so hard that his vision whites out, he falls forward leaning all his weight onto Jace, who’s running his hands softly up and down his back.

“I love you.” Simon mumbles into his neck.

Jace chuckles “I love you too.” He says quietly.

When they’re laying down in bed after, having taken a quick shower or what was meant to be a quick shower, which turned into round 2 _in_ the shower, Jace remembers his earlier conversation with Alec.

“I forgot to say earlier, before we got distracted, Alec invited me to dinner tomorrow.”

Simon hums, snuggling closer to his chest, fighting to keep his eyes open.

“That’s nice.” Simon murmurs.

“He told me to bring you, if I wanted.” Jace says cautiously.

Simon’s eyes snap open, and he scrambles up onto his elbow, hovering over Jace.

“He said what?”

“He told me to bring you, so, will you come?”

“Do you think that’s a good idea.”

“Probably not, but I want you to be there.”

“Okay.” Simon says quietly.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I’ll come with you.”

Simon’s breath catches when Jace gives him a blinding grin, he leans up to plant a soft kiss to his lip, before pulling him back down onto his chest, Simon shuffles closer and breaths in contentment.

“Then after that, we’ll tell Clary.” Jace says.

“We should probably do that together, right.”

“If you want to, but I can do it by myself Simon, if you don’t think you can, you can wait here or wait in my room at the institute.”

Simon sighs. “No, I need to be there, it’s not all on you, it was both of us, she deserves the truth, from me and you."

Jace rubs his thumb in circles on the back of Simon’s hand. “If you’re sure.”

Simon’s sure that if his heart could still beat, it would be pounding against his chest right now, he knows it’s the right thing to do, they have to tell Clary the truth.

Simon nods against his chest. “I’m sure.”

\--------------------

Magnus and Alec are stood on his balcony, overlooking the city, they’ve both been quiet, since Alec got in, Magnus more so, Alec is contemplating how to ask Magnus what’s wrong, without it sounding like he’s been overbearing, when Magnus suddenly speaks.

“I can’t do it,” He says suddenly. “I promised him I wouldn’t say anything, but I can’t keep secrets from you, not after we promised.”

“Magnus, what are you talking about?” Alec asks confused.

“Simon came to see me today, and he told me something, about himself and- “

“If you’re going to say what I think you are, then I already know.” Alec says.

“What do you mean, what do you know?” 

“About Simon and.” Alec trails off, letting Magnus feel in the gap.

“Jace.” Magnus breaths.

Alec nods at Magnus, they stare at each other for a few seconds, before Alec chuckles and pulls Magnus into his arms.

“Jesus, what are they gonna do Magnus?”

Magnus wraps his arms around him and shakes his head.

“The only thing they can do darling, tell the truth.”

“This is going to get really ugly, isn’t it?” Alec sighs.

“I hope not Alexander, all we can do is help everyone through it, when the time comes.” Magnus says, kissing Alec gently on the lips.

Magnus pulls back puzzles. “How did you know about them?”

“Jace wasn’t his usually self today, he was agitated, twitchy and I was getting a lot more feedback on the bond, then usual, when I cornered, he finally broke and told me everything.

Magnus kisses him again and tightens his arms around him.

“How was he?”

Alec shrugs. “He has a lot of guilt.”

Magnus nods. “So, does Simon.”

Alec grins at him sheepishly and Magnus knows that look.

“What did you do?”

“I told Jace to come to dinner tomorrow.” Alec says casually.

“That’s not everything darling.”

“I kind of, told him to bring Simon.” Alec finishes.

Magnus groans. “Alexander, we shouldn’t get involved.”

“I know okay, but he was,” Alec searches for the right words. “He was sad Magnus but happy at the same time, when he was talking about Simon, he had the softest smile on his face, and I don’t even think he knows he was doing it, he looked so in love, I just asked him, and his face lit up and then I couldn’t take it back.

Magnus sighs. “Okay Alexander, but if this all goes wrong, It’s your fault.

“Deal.” Alec says kissing him.

Magnus chuckles against him lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there's only going to be a few more chapters now, till the end.
> 
> Teaser for the next chapter:  
> Jace's POV, when he tells Alec the truth.
> 
> Thank you all so much, for the comments and the kudos, it mean's so much to me.


	6. Parabatai To Parabatai

Alec is walking past the training room when he sees him, Alec didn’t even know he was back from his mission, he steps inside, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms across his chest, he watches Jace throw punch after punch at the training bag. 

There is something going on with him, Alec knows, he's been different the last few months, he keeps disappearing, Clary has come to him a few times, asking when Jace is coming back from his mission, a mission Alec knows nothing about, he's had to think up quick lies every time. 

He's also quiet sometimes and if there's one word to describe Jace, it's never that, he's caught him a few times just staring into space, deep in thought. 

He hasn't said anything to him yet, wanting Jace to come to him when he's ready, but it's gone on too long. Alec frowns when Jace increases his punches, till he's not stopping, hitting the bag again and again. 

Jace grabs it when the bag swings back, dropping his forehead to rest on it, Alec jumps when Jace suddenly shouts, hitting the bag a final time before dropping his hands and stepping back. 

His phone rings and unwrapping his hands, before grabbing his phone off the bench, and sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. 

His emotions have been confusing Alec lately, he hasn't always gotten a lot of feedback from Jace's side, but lately, it's like he can't control them, and they bleed through, more than Alec thinks he knows. 

Case in point is the massive surge of happiness and affection? maybe, he feels when Jace reads the text, it can't be from Clary, he let her have the day off, so she can do something with Luke, just the two of them, no interruptions. 

Jace is smiling down at his phone as he replies, the answering text coming through almost immediately, Jace laughs as he reads the reply, he stares out at the training room,   
getting lost in his thoughts again. 

Alec finally steps into the room, walking into his line of sight. 

"What are you thinking about?" Alec says, sitting down on the bench facing Jace. 

"Hm, nothing," Jace says distractedly. 

"Come on man, talk to me." 

"About what?" he asks chuckling. 

"You're gonna make me say it." 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." 

Alec nods. "You know, I've had to lie to Clary for you, five times in the last month, and the month before that, four times. I'm not saying I wouldn't lie for you, but it would be nice to know what I'm lying for." 

Jace stands abruptly, grabbing his things and brushing past Alec. 

"Drop it, Alec." 

Alec hurries after him, grabbing his arm before he can run off down the hall. 

"No, I'm not going to drop it, I just want to know what's wrong 

"Nothing's wrong," Jace says firmly. 

"You've been lying, you've been sneaking out of the institute, you're never where you say   
you're going to be, and I've been getting some intense emotions from the bond lately,"   
Alec says, ticking them off on his fingers. 

Jace is frozen in front of him before he slumps forward, it's like someone has cut the strings that are holding him up. 

"Not here," Jace says, jerking his chin for Alec to follow him. 

As they walk through the institute, Alec can feel a fresh wave of panic and he knows it's not coming from him, he looks at Jace who's looking around like demons are about to jump out of nowhere.

 _What is going on with my brother?_ Alec thinks. 

Jace hurries inside when they reach his bedroom, closing the door behind him, Alec watches him confused when he draws a locking and silencing rune on the door. 

"Okay, you need to explain what all of this," Alec says gesturing to the door. "Means and   
why you're so agitated." 

"Whatever I say stays in this room, it goes no further." 

Alec nods. "Okay." 

"I mean it, Alec, this is big and if," Jace pauses. "I mean when this comes out because it will, it's got to come from me, this is parabatai to parabatai," Jace says seriously. 

"Okay, not a word, you're starting to freak me out, are you in trouble or something." 

"No, nothing like what you're thinking." 

"Okay, then what?" 

"The reason I disappear all the time, why I lie to Clary is because I'm seeing someone else." Jace finally says. 

Alec just blinks at him for a few seconds. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Come on Alec, you're not that stupid," Jace says. 

"I know, I just need you to say it, so I know we're thinking the same thing." 

Jace rolls his eyes. "I've been sleeping with someone else, is that better?" He says sarcastically. 

Alec laughs. "You're joking, right, this is a joke." 

"No Alec, I'm totally serious." He says, looking into his eyes trying to convey his honesty. 

"Holy shit, you're not joking." 

Jace shakes his head, moving to sit on his bed. 

"Why, I thought after everything you've both been through, I thought this was it for you, you chased her for months and did some stupid shit that could have gotten you killed." 

"I don't know why I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did, it was an accident." 

"One time is an accident Jace, whatever you've been doing isn't." 

Jace stays silent, refusing to look up at him. 

"I thought you loved her, I thought after everything, you were finally settled." 

"I do love her." Jace insists 

Alec scoffs. "Obviously not enough, if you couldn't keep your dick in your pants for 5 minutes." 

"It's not like that Alec." 

"Then please explain it to me because I don't know what to say." 

Jace grits his teeth and stays silent. 

"Jace," Alec calls firmly. 

"I love him more, I love Clary but I'm not in love with her, not anymore," Jace shouts.   
Alec stands there in stunned silence, did he hear him, right? did he say him? 

"Him?" Alec asks hesitantly. 

"Everything's fucked up," Jace says, running his hands through his hair. "What's wrong with me?" 

That snaps Alec out of his daze and has him moving to sit next to him. 

"Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you, just talk to me Jace, I didn't even know you liked guys, you've never shown any interest before, at least not to me." 

"Are you gay, or..." Alec trails of awkwardly. 

Jace sighs. "I don't know what I am, there's just him." 

Jace reaches down under his bed and pulls out a box, he stares at it for a few seconds, before tipping the contents onto the bed, he picks up a Polaroid picture Simon took of them and hands it to Alec. 

Alec stares at the picture in disbelief, Jace has one arm slung around Simon's shoulders, they're both wearing sunglasses, the sun creating a halo of colour around their heads, Simon's turned towards Jace, pressing his lip to his cheek and Jace is beaming at the camera, Alec feels a surge of warmth through their bond and turns to see Jace looking down at the picture fondly. 

"You've been with Simon." 

Jace finally looks up and nods, Alec looks through the other stuff, there are a few more photos, including one for a photo booth, Alec looks to Jace for confirmation as he reaches for it, he picks it up gently and scans the pictures. 

It's the last three that catch his eye, Simon's facing the camera, mouth hanging open in a shocked expression, pointing towards Jace, but Jace is looking at Simon, his eyes are soft and there's a small smile playing on his lips. 

The next one has Simon turned to Jace kissing him on the lips, his hand cradling his jaw gently. It's the last one that makes Alec swallow past a lump in his throat, they're both looking at each other, but it's the way Jace is watching Simon like he hung the moon and the stars in the sky like he's the answer to every question. 

He's looking at him like he loves him. 

Alec looks back to Jace, whose going through the other things in the box. 

"What is all this stuff?" Alec asks. 

"Everything, everyplace we've been, I've kept it all." 

Alec looks through it and sees a few cinema tickets, obviously Simon's choice going by the Marvel titles, there's a flier for an open mic night, ticket stubs for carnival rides and a ticket stub for the Eiffel tower. 

"You went to Paris?" Alec raises his eyebrows at him. "When?" 

"Remember last month, I asked for those 2 days off, we went then, I told Clary I was in Idris." 

"I know she asked me, I had to cover for you." 

Jace winces. "Sorry." 

Jace hands him another photo of him and Simon with the Eiffel tower in the background, they're both smiling at the camera, arms around each other. 

Alec leans back against the headboard. "Shit." 

"Yeah, I know." Jace says following Alec back. 

Alec turns his head to look at him and Jace meets his eyes questionably. 

"You really love him." Alec says awed. 

Jace frowns at him and shrugs. 

"I mean, you've never kept this stuff for other people, photos, tickets, little trinkets." 

"What even is this?" Alec asks picking something up. 

Jace leans over to look and laughs. "It's a Lego Captain America figure." 

Alec looks at him like he's crazy. "What does that even mean?" 

"It's a long story, I'll tell you sometime, just not today." 

Alec watches him for a while, letting the silence settle over them, he looks tired. He lets his eyes roam over the photos again, Jace looks like a different person in them, he looks happier, younger, like he doesn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

He realises why that is of course, Simon is in every single one. 

"Do you love him?" 

Jace doesn’t answer, just nods, looking down at his hands as he twirls the Herondale family ring around his finger, 

"Tell me about him." Alec asks gently. 

He doesn’t know why he asks, he gets the feeling that Jace needs to get everything out, it's obvious no one else knows about them, so he doesn’t get to talk about Simon like he would probably like to. 

Jace's head snaps up. "What?" 

"Tell me about him." Alec repeats. 

"You already know him." 

Alec rolls his eyes. "No, I know the annoying vampire Simon, tell me about your Simon, the one you see, the one you love." 

Jace's stomach flips and his heart starts to race when Alec says _'your Simon'_ , he looks down and chuckles quietly, picking up one of the photos. 

"My Simon." Jace echoes, voice filled with awe. 

Alec stays quiet, letting him have time to think, and watching as emotions flicker across his face. 

"It's weird hearing you say that, I've never said anything like that out loud before. I haven't been able to because too everybody else, he's not, but I guess he is, isn't he?" 

Alec nods gently. "So, tell me about him, tell me how all this started because I've been going over everything in my head and I can't figure it out." 

"Remember when we weren't getting on a few months ago, I mean when it was really bad, we couldn’t go two 2 seconds without arguing." 

Jace looks at Alec for confirmation before he continues. 

"Clary forced us to go out, it was that night, we went to hunter's moon, had a few drinks, I only went because Clary begged me to. When we sat down to actually talk, it wasn’t that bad, so we decided to go somewhere else and ended up at this club. 

I remember everything about that night, it stared at the club, there was no hint of anything else before that. It started with little touches, that lingered a bit too long, I could feel him watching me sometimes, we left and I offered to walk him home. I even remember what I said to him, _'You never know who you'll met along the way, a lone drunk vampire, anything could happen'_. 

The truth was I didn’t want it to be over, I didn’t want him to leave, I can't say for sure who kissed who first, and you know what happened from there. I woke up in the morning, panicked a little bit, but not because I'd just slept with someone else, I panicked because I didn’t even think of Clary until she was banging on the door, she didn’t even cross my mind Alec. 

You want to know what I was thinking, when he was rambling at me, all I was thinking was I want to kiss you again. We said it wouldn't happen again, but it was like I couldn’t give him up, like he was an addiction, I cornered him when he came the institute for his training session, we agreed then, that we wouldn’t tell Clary and see each other in secret, we've been together ever since."

"That was months ago Jace, it's been going on for that long? why did you start this with him?" Alec says astonished. 

"Everything is so easy with him, I don’t have to walk on eggshells around him, me and Clary might have been in a good place, but it was still strained, it wasn’t like that with Simon. 

"That doesn’t explain why you would risk everything you have, just to keep seeing Simon, who by the way is Clary's best friend, since childhood." Alec says confused. 

"You just don’t get it Alec." Jace answers frustrated. 

"Then explain it to me, I'm not trying to argue with you, I'm trying to genuinely understand." 

"You know when you activate a rune, and you get that rush, where your whole-body tingles, and you have to take a steadying breath to focus yourself," Jace says looking at Alec. 

Alec frowns and nods back at him. 

"That's what it feels like when I see him or even when I'm near him." 

Alec looks at him in surprise, gaping at him, he doesn’t know what to say, Jace has never said anything like this before. 

"I'd do anything for him, say anything, be anything, kill anything and anyone, to protect him." Jace says with such fierceness that Alec has to take a breath at the wave of protectiveness flowing over him. 

"Wow," Alec whisper. "I get it, you know, I know what that feels like, to love someone so much your willing to do anything for them. 

"Magnus?" Jace asks, even though he already knows the answer. 

Alec gives him a look, before smiling slightly. "Obviously." 

"Maybe it's a Downworlder thing." Jace say half-jokingly. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I don’t feel like that when I'm with Clary, I never have, when we first got together, after all the bullshit, I thought nobody could make me as happy as I was, that it couldn’t get better." 

"It's obviously different now, I've never seen you keep anything like this before, for anyone else" Alec says gesturing to the stuff spread out on the bed. 

"I feel guilt all the time Alec, but it's worse after I've been with him and then come back here, because then I remember that I never thought of Clary once, I didn’t feel any kind of remorse, all I felt was happy." 

Alec puts an arm around his shoulders, and pulls him into his side.   
"You know, you can't keep this up forever, if I've learnt anything from the shows Magnus makes me watch, it's that stuff like this always comes out," 

Jace sighs, he knows that, he knows he's going to have to make a choice eventually. 

"And then there's a lot of shouting, and cursing, and shit like that." Alec says lightly, shrugging his shoulders. 

Jace laughs softly, this is why he loves his brother, he always knows how to make him laugh. 

"You have to make a choice, because you can't carry on like this, if I've noticed somethings wrong, then so have the others, and if they haven't they will soon, there's only so many times Clary is going to be believe the stuff I tell her." 

Jace brings the photo he's still clutching in his hand up to his face, it's one of his favourites, they went to the beach for the day, they're both lying on their backs on towel's, Simon's leaning closer to Jace as he takes the picture, they're both beaming at the camera. Jace runs his fingertips over it gently, that's when it clicks, that's when he knows. 

"I've already made my choice, I just didn’t know it." Jace says quietly. 

"You're going to tell Clary the truth?" 

"Yeah, I am, I don’t want to be with her anymore, I love Simon," He pulls back to look Alec. 

"I'm in love with Simon." Jace says wide eyed, realising how much he means it. 

"You okay? 

"Yeah, I've just never realised how true that was before, that's all." 

Jace slumps back against the headboard, it feels good to talk it all through with someone else, someone he trusts, he feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest, and he can finally breath again, he's also tired, he's never been good at talking about his feelings. 

"Can we talk about something else, how's everything going with you and Magnus?" 

Alec can't fight the grin that splits his face at just the mention of Magnus' name.

"Magnus and I are good." 

"Everything's going okay with you too now?" 

Alec's smile dims slightly. "Yeah, it's better now, we promised to talk more, about Shadowhunter and Downworlder stuff, and we promised not to lie and keep secrets anymore." 

Jace nods thinking. "You can tell Magnus about me and Simon, I'm not expecting you to keep this to yourself." 

"Are you sure? Because Magnus would understand why I couldn’t tell him this." 

"Yeah, I'm sure, just make sure he doesn’t tell anyone." 

"Of course, he wouldn’t anyway." 

They sit in silence for a while, just letting everything that's happened run through their minds, before Alec breaks the silence. 

"You should come over sometime, you know, for dinner." Alec asks. 

"Yeah, I will." Jace says smiling. 

"How about tomorrow?" Alec hesitates for a second before adding. 

"You can bring Simon." He tries to say it casually, but knows by the face Jace is giving him, he failed. 

"What?" Jace asks dumbly. 

"Bring Simon." 

"Alec, I can't, it's too much, it would be to weird." 

"Just think about it, you don’t have to bring him, but you still have to come." 

Jace laughs. "I'll think about it." 

Jace's phone pings, and he opens it to see a message from Simon, Alec sees him grinning down at his phone and already knows who it is. 

"Simon?" Jace asks teasingly. 

Jace pushes at his shoulder when he leans over to look. "Shut up." 

"He's at home, you mind if I..." Jace trails off, pointing to the shower. 

"No, you go," Alec hugs him before he can jump up. "If you need to talk, I'm always here, you're my brother, my parabatai, I'll always be here to listen." 

"Thanks man, I know." 

Alec lets him go and smiles at the added bounce in his step, obviously Simon's doing, just before the bathroom door closes Alec calls out. 

"Don't forget dinner tomorrow, and I thing you should bring him." 

Jace stops and stares back at Alec who's smiling encouragingly back at him. 

"Okay, if he says yes, I’ll bring him, just make sure you tell Magnus, so he knows what to expect. 

Alec nods and with that Jace shuts the door, rushing through his shower, to get to Simon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I thought I would post it anyway.
> 
> Let me know in the comment's what you think.
> 
> Thank you.


	7. Is This Real Life?

Simon reaches for his phone when he hears it ring, ignoring his moms disapproving look. 

_'Meet me at the institute'_

Before Simon can reply another text comes through. 

_'Come around the back, text me then you're there, love you.'_

Simon smiles down at his phone, he thought he wasn’t going to be able to see Jace tonight, they had been taking so many risks lately, Jace had stayed at Simon's a lot and they're running out of excuses for why he's not sleeping at the institute. So, they agreed that Jace would stay there and Simon obviously couldn’t stay there, they couldn’t risk anyone seeing him and Clary would be there. 

_'Why? I thought we couldn’t see each other?'_

The reply comes a few seconds later and Simon feels a rush of excitement when he reads it. 

_'Clary got called away to Idris, she won't be back till tomorrow night, come see me.'_

Simon has to think of an excuse to get out of family night, he promised he would spend time at home tonight because he thought he wasn’t seeing Jace, Simon knows something that would definitely work, he just doesn’t know if he can bring himself to use it. 

"Hey mom, I've got to go, I'm sorry, Clary needs me." 

"You can't just leave, we said we were going to spend some time together, I feel like I don’t see you anymore honey." 

"I know mom, but it's Clary, I promise we can spend all day together tomorrow." 

His mom sighs and shoos him away, Simon is up and out the house before she can change her mind. 

_'On my way, and I love you too.'_

Simon gets to the institute in record time, sneaking around the back, making sure no Shadowhunter's spot him, he pulls out his phone to text Jace. 

_'I'm here.'_ Simon waits a few minutes before signing and texting him again. 

_'Jace, where are you?'_

Simon looks around uneasily, he's never realised how scary the institute looks when it's dark, the wind rustling the leaves on the trees, the moon light creating shadows on the ground, Simon takes a small step back, contemplating going around to the front, and into the light, when someone grabs him from behind. 

Simon would like it to be known, that he did not scream, thank you very much, he made a very manly sound and he most defiantly did not almost burst out crying. He hears a familiar laugh and whirls around to beat the shit out of Jace, but all the anger drains out of him when he sees the honest amusement and fondness on Jace's face. 

Simon punches him on the shoulder. 

"Don’t do that, you scared me." Simon says pouting. 

Jace chuckles and slides his arms around Simon's waist, nuzzling into his neck. 

"I'm sorry but it was hilarious." He mumbles into Simon's neck. 

Jace pulls back and sees Simon's lips twitch, Simon mock glares at him and reaches down to pull his arms off him. 

"It's nice to know my fear amuses you, I'm going home." Simon says turning around and walking away dramatically. 

Jace runs after him, grabbing him around the waist and planting his feet, so Simon can't keep walking. 

"I'm sorry, don’t leave, I've planned a whole night for us." 

"Oh yeah, what?" Simon says stubbornly, still trying to get away. 

They both know that if Simon really wanted to, he could get out of the hold, no problem. 

"Sexy stuff." Jace says suggestively. 

Simon can't see him, but he knows for a fact, Jace is wiggling his eyebrows at him, and sure enough when he turns, Jace is doing just that. 

Simon rolls his eyes. "You're ridiculous." He says sliding his arms around his neck. 

"Mmm but you love me anyway." 

"Occasionally." Simon says teasingly. 

"Always." Jace replies confidently. 

Simon is thrown by the certainty in his voice, that he can't help but agree. 

"Always." He says softly. 

Jace smiles softly at him, and Simon loves that smile, he lives for it, doesn’t know how he survived all these years without it. 

"Kiss me." Simon whispers 

Jace raises an eyebrow at him. "You kiss me." He says. 

Simon huffs and shakes his head, before leaning forward to kiss him. Jace sighs softly against his lips and tightens his arms around him, pulling him closer. Simon runs his hand through his hair, playing with the strands at the nape of his neck and swipes his tongue against Jace's lips asking for entrance. 

Jace opens immediately and at the first touch of their tongues, Simon feels his knees go weak, and has to make a conscious effort to not fall down, they pull back slowly, damning Jace's need to breath, Simon cups the side of his face and swipes his thumb across his cheek softly. 

"Hi." Jace whispers, their faces still close enough that Simon can feel Jace's breath on his face. 

"Hi." Simon answers back. 

Simon pulls Jace into his chest and tightens his arms around his neck, tucking his face into  
Jace's neck and has to fight the absurd urge for the second time in five minutes to cry, Jace hugs him back just as tightly. 

"I'm glad you're here." Jace mumbles. 

"Me, too, why didn’t you just come to mine?" 

"I have to be here for an emergency, and I have an early training session with Alec in the morning." 

Simon nods against his neck and finally pulls back. "Do you think me staying here is a good idea? I mean what if someone sees me?" 

"It's fine, I've been sneaking in and out of the institute for years." Jace says grabbing his hand and pulling him along. 

"That doesn’t make me feel any better." Simon says quietly, which Jace ignores. 

He pulls his through a door at the side of the building, and down a narrow hallway he's never seen before, they come out at some kind of giant greenhouse, Simon looks around at all the different things growing, looking up at the glass ceiling, which has a perfect view of the stars twinklingly in the sky. 

He's so transfixed with the ceiling he doesn’t realise they’ve stopped, until he feels Jace squeeze his hand, he looks down at him, and sees him watching him with a soft look. 

Simon looks back up at the sky. "It's beautiful, don’t you think?" 

"Yeah." Jace says, not taking his eyes off Simon. "It is." 

Jace squeezes his hand again and tugs on it. "Come on." 

They carry on walking, Jace tugging him down more hallways and through doors, until Jace pulls him through a door, and he sees the familiar white walls of the institute. Jace turns left and carries on walking, Simon following at his side, until they hear footsteps coming from in front of them. 

"Shit." Simon freezes. "Someone's coming." 

Jace looks at him wide eyed, Simon looks around frantically, till he sees a door. "There." Simon says pointing to it. 

Jace ushers him over and closes the door behind him, just as a figure comes around the corner, Jace leans one hand against the wall beside the door, trying to look casual and failing. 

"Alec." Jace says surprised. "Hey, man." 

Alec narrows his eyes at him. "What are you doing?" He asks slowly. "You're acting weird." 

"No, I'm not, you're acting weird." 

Alec squints at him, before shrugging his shoulders. "Whatever, you want to go train?" 

"I'm kind of tired, thought I would just go to sleep." Jace says, fake yawning. 

"Mmm, tired huh, How's Clary by the way?" Alec asks casually. 

Jace nods. "Yeah, good." 

"Where is she?" 

"Oh, you know, Idris." 

"Yeah, I do know, I had to send her there." 

Jace just blinks at him, tapping his fingers against the wall. 

Alec rolls his eyes. "You can come out of the supply closet Simon, I know you're in there." 

Jace gapes at Alec, as Simon opens the door slowly and slips out, looking around awkwardly. 

"You're not as subtle as you think, you know." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"There is a little thing I like to call cameras." Alec says, pointing to the camera on the ceiling. "I saw you." 

Jace stares blankly at Alec, until Simon bursts out laughing, they both watch as Simon braces himself on his knees. 

"You forgot about the cameras, how long have you lived here?" Simon asks, still laughing. 

Jace can feel his lips twitch, and glares down at him, Simon finally manages to stop laughing and straights up, a few more chuckles leaving his lips, Simon slings his arm around Jace's shoulder when he sees the expression on his face. 

"Oh, don’t be such a baby, consider it payback for scaring me earlier. 

"Whatever." Jace mumbles. 

Alec clears his throat, and Simon snatches his arm back and takes a side step away from Jace, Alec raises his eyebrows at him, and Jace rolls his eyes, grabbing his arm and pulling him back to his side. 

"He knows about us, idiot." Jace says, and Simon would be insulted about the idiot comment, if not for the fond way Jace said it. 

Simon relaxes. "Oh yeah, sorry, I panicked." 

"Is this a good idea." Alec says pointing at them. "Here, I mean." 

"Yeah, it'll be fine." Jace says. 

"If you say so." 

Jace slides his hand into Simon's and pulls him away. "I do say so." Jace says stubbornly as he passes him. 

Alec shakes his head at him. "Don't go that way, there's people down there." 

Jace stops and looks down the hallway, before turning and walking in the opposite direction, dragging Simon behind him. 

"Bye Alec." Simon says awkwardly over his shoulder. 

Alec just nods at him, until they're out of view, he sighs scrubbing his hands over his face. "He's gonna be the death of me" He mumbles. 

\-------------------- 

Simon leans back against the door, when they make it to Jace's room. 

"Well that was..." Simon says, trying to find the right word. 

"Weird." Jace answers. 

"Yeah," Simon agrees. "But nice, as well." 

"Nice?" Jace asks confused. 

"Yeah, to be us in front of someone, not having to hide, that's the first time that's happened, you know." 

"Huh." Jace says. "I didn’t even notice, it was just natural." 

Simon smiles at him, and Jace crowds him back against the door, kissing him hungrily, he pulls impatiently at Simon's t-shirt. "Off." He says against his lips. 

Simon laughs and puts his hands on his chest, pushing him back, and walking him backwards to the bed, Jace scrambles to the top when Simon pushes him down onto it, Simon strips his t-shirt off slowly, revealing new skin with every tug. 

Jace watches rapt, eyes following every movement of his hands, Simon unbuttons his jeans, wiggling his hips so they fall around his ankles and kicking them away, Jace groans and sits up, whipping his t-shirt off and ripping of his jeans and boxers down and off, lying naked back on the bed, waiting for Simon. 

Simon's hands fall to the waist band of his boxers and hovers, watching with lust filled eyes as Jace restrains himself from jumping off the bed and grabbing him. 

Jace groans again. "Come on, Simon." He says impatiently. 

Simon smirks at him, finally getting rid of his boxers and climbing on the bed, crawling across it, and straddling his waist. Simon leans down and kisses his way down his neck, biting down on his shoulder and sucking, pulling back to see the bruise bloom on his skin. 

Simon reaches for the bedside table, rummaging through the draw for the lube, and making a triumphant noise when he finds it, he holds it out to Jace, silently asking, Jace wraps his hand around Simon's neck, yanking him down into a biting kiss. 

"Fuck me." Jace says, into his mouth. 

Simon moans into the kiss, he loves it when he gets to fuck Jace, they don’t do it often, mostly because he likes when Jace fucks him more. 

Simon moves between Jace's legs, turning his head to kiss down his thigh, he pops the cap, dribbling lube on to his fingers, and rubbing them together to warm it, he looks back up at Jace, waiting for the okay, which he gives. He circles Jace's hole with his finger, before pushing in slowly, moving it in and out, waiting for Jace to relax. 

Jace moans, breath hitching in his throat. "Another." He says. 

Simon adds a second finger, scissoring them, he croaks his fingers, looking for that magical spot, Jace's back arches, fingers grasping the bedsheet under his hands, he looks beautiful like this Simon thinks, flushed and wanting. 

He adds a third at Jace's insistence, pumping three fingers into him, all the while kissing down his thigh, to the crease in his leg, he licks over it to his hip, biting down on it and sucking, he loves to watch the blood rush to the surface, loves to see the marks he puts on his skin, he always heals them when he leaves, but Simon doesn’t mind, it's more reason to leave as many as he can. 

"Fuck, I'm ready." Jace gasps out. 

"Are you sure?" Simon says frowning. 

"Yes, fuck, come on, fuck me." 

Simon pulls out his fingers, wiping them off on the bedsheets, he crawls back above Jace, who reaches down and grasps his cock, guiding it into his hole, he pushes in slowly, making sure not to hurt Jace, he pauses letting him adjust, Jace hocks his legs around Simon and pulls him the rest of the way in. 

Simon moans, dropping his head to rest on his shoulder, they stay like that for a moment, just breathing. 

"Move, Simon." Jace rasps. 

"Give me a minute." Simon says, afraid if he moves, he's going to cum. 

Jace nods, patting his hair. "Think of a Shax Demon." 

"Dude, seriously." Simon says, giving him a disbelieving look. 

"Works for me." He says, shrugging his shoulders. 

Simon rest his forehead on Jace's, looking into his eyes. "I love you." 

"I love you too, can you move now? This is killing me." 

Simon kisses him, moving his hips slightly, he rolled his hips forward, rocking his body into Jace's, Jace pulled away from the kiss, to suck in much needed air, he moans when Simon thrusts in again, he grinds down on Simon's cock, meeting his thrusts and falling into a rhythm. 

The only things Jace could focus on, we're Simon's moans, hands skimming over and down his chest, digging his own hands into Simon's back, leaving crescent shapes in the skin there, and cool lips pressing kisses into his neck. 

Simon's brain shut down, overwhelmed by Jace, all he could think was Jace, Jace, Jace, he's under him, all around him, gripping him so tightly, the skin under his lips and hands hot to the touch, he feels heavenly. 

Simon speeds up his thrusts, can feel his orgasm radiating through his body, but determined to hold it off and make Jace cum first 

Jace moans louder, digging his nails deeper into his skin. "I'm so close, touch me." 

Simon grips Jace's cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts, Jace arches up spilling over Simon's hand and he fucks him thought it, Jace slumps in his hold, blissed out expression on his face, Simon grabs hold of his hips and thrusts in earnest before stilling above him, orgasm ripping through him, vision whiting at the sides. 

Simon drops down on to Jace, panting into his neck, Jace runs his hand sluggishly through his hair, and Simon kisses his shoulder. Jace groans when Simon pulls out, scrunching his nose up when he feels the wetness between his cheeks and Simon's cum slowly trickling out. 

Simon flops down beside him, picking up Jace's hand on his chest and intertwining their fingers together, Jace turns his head to him and smiles sleepily. 

"We should shower." Simon says. 

Jace whines. "Later." He says. "Tired." 

"Nope, come on." He says, getting off the bed and pulling Jace up with him. "You'll thank me later." 

Jace grumbles, and begrudgingly walks towards the bathroom, jumping when Simon slaps his ass, when he walks past, Simon laughs and follows him into the bathroom. 

Simon switches the shower on, pulling a sleepy Jace into it and under the water. 

They lay together after showing, basking in each other's company, Simon resting against Jace's chest, Simon's thoughts wonder to tomorrow night, the night they're having dinner with Alec and Magnus, and he's nervous, it's the first time they've been anywhere together as a couple, in front of people they know. Is he aloud to kiss Jace? Touch him? Be close to him? 

"What are you thinking about?" Jace says, pulling Simon from his thoughts. 

"Nothing." 

"Come on, I know something's wrong." Jace says patiently. 

"Just thinking about tomorrow night." 

"You mean the dinner?" Jace asks. 

"Yeah," Simon says quietly "Maybe I shouldn’t go." 

"It'll be fine, it's just a normal dinner." Jace says, rubbing an assuring hand down his arm. 

Simon leans up on his elbow, hovering over Jace. "A normal dinner?" 

"Yeah." Jace says shrugging his shoulders. 

Simon gives him a disbelieving look, before laughing. "What are you gonna say when we get there? 'Oh, hey Magnus and Alec, thanks for inviting me for dinner, you know Simon, the guy I'm sleeping with, oh where's my girlfriend? His best friend you ask, well she couldn't make it, sorry'." Simon says frustrated. 

Jace laughs softly, and cards one of his hands through Simon's hair. 

"It's not funny." Simon whines. 

"You got that bit wrong, by the way." 

"What bit?" Simon asks frowning. 

"Not the guy I'm sleeping with, I think you meant the guy I'm in love with." Jace corrects. 

Simon blinks down at him. "Urgh, you're so damn smooth." 

Jace beams up at him. "It's a gift." 

Simon flops back down onto his chest, resting his head on Jace's shoulder, Jace takes hold of the hand resting on his chest, bringing it to his lips and kissing it, Simon smiles softly, and intertwines their fingers, letting their hands drop to rest over his heart. 

"In all seriousness, it will be fine tomorrow, and if it's not, then we'll leave." Jace says reassuringly. 

"You'd do that for me?" Simon asks. 

"I'd do anything for you." Jace answers back easily. 

Simon's stomach flips and can feel the begins of butterflies fluttering in his stomach at Jace's words. "I'd do anything for you too." Simon says sincerely. 

"I know." Jace says smugly. 

Simon slaps his chest with his free hand. "Don't ruin nice moments." 

"I wasn’t aware we we're having a moment." Jace says teasingly. 

Simon sighs and rolls his eyes, tilting his face up towards Jace, who takes the invitation, and dips down to kiss him. Jace pulls back eyes sparkling and a genuine smile on his face, Simon shifts swinging his leg out and over Jace's hips, pulling himself up to straddling his waist, Jace's hands find their home automatic on his hips. 

Simon leans down to kiss him again, exploring his mouth with his tongue, grasping his hair in his hands and tugging, Jace moans against his mouth, Simon pulls back slightly, lips hovering over Jace's. 

"Ready for round 2, Mr Herondale." 

Jace laughs quietly and flips them, Simon lands on his back with an exclaim of surprise, Jace runs his hands down his arms, intertwining and pining his hands above his head, Jace trails kisses up his neck, towards his ear, kissing the soft skin below it. 

"I'm always ready for you, Mr Lewis." Jace whispers seductively in his ear, grinding his hips down into Simon's. 

"Fuck." Simon gasps. 

Jace grins shark like down at him. "Definitely." 

They fall around for what feels like hours, not once leaving Jace's room, just spending time in each other's arms, and talking till they can't anymore. Jace doesn’t think he's ever talked so much, but it's so easy with Simon, the words just flow from his mouth. 

Alec walks past at one point and freezes when he hears Jace laughing loudly, a deep hearty laugh, one that if he saw him, he could be sure Jace would be crying with laughter. Alec smiles softly, and silently thanks Simon for making Jace laugh like he hasn’t heard for a long time. 

\-------------------- 

Simon woke slowly the next morning, blinking himself to wakefulness, he stretches and settles, noticing the warm weight snuggled up against his back, smiling softly he turns, making sure not to disturb Jace. 

Jace tightens the arm around his waist and pulls him closer, Simon can't believe how lucky he is, to be here with jace, he loves him so much, he raises his hand and trails his fingertips down the side of Jace's face, pushing the hair out of his face, Jace leans into the touch in his sleep. 

He meant what he said yesterday, he's nervous about going to dinner with Magnus and Alec, but he's a little bit excited too, to spend the night with his friends, and Jace as a real couple, he just hopes it's not to awkward and they don’t hate him, he says they but he means Magnus, he knows how close Magnus and Clary are. 

The sun has risen and is peeking through the gap in the curtains, hitting Jace and bouncing off him, making it look as though he's glowing, Simon trails his fingers down his shoulder, past his elbow, to his hand and leaves it resting there, before taking it and pressing a small kiss to his knuckles, he lets Jace's hand fall to the pillow under his head and covers it with his own. 

Simon lays there for a few minutes. "I adore you." He whispers, admiring Jace, till a sleepy voice interrupts him. 

"Are you watching me sleep, weirdo?" 

Simon huffs a laugh. "Of course not." He says innocently. 

Jace hums and cracks an eye open. "You've been sat there, for like ten minutes." 

"You've been awake this whole time." 

"Yep, I thought I would see what you would do, I guess watching me sleep was the answer." 

Simon pushes at his shoulder. "Asshole." 

Jace grunts and moves closer, tucking his face into Simon's neck, and tangling their legs together. 

"Let's just stay here today." Jace says. 

Simon groans and tightens his arms around Jace. "As much as I would love to, I've got to meet my Mom and sister." 

Jace shakes his head against his neck. "No, you're staying here." 

"Oh, am I, what, you gonna keep me here." 

"Yep, I've officially kidnapped you." Jace mumbles. 

Simon laughs and brushes a kiss against the top of his head. "Well, what am I supposed to eat?" Simon asks. 

Jace just raises his arm, face still tucked into his neck, and tilts his wrist towards his lips, when Simon doesn’t say anything, Jace finally raises his head and looks at him. Simon's watching him with dark eyes, Jace moves his arm to the left, then the right, swallowing hard when Simon's eyes track the movement. 

"You want to bite me?" Jace asks quietly, afraid speaking any louder will break Simon from the spell he's under. 

Simon nods slowly, and Jace brings his arm down to his lips, Simon grabs his wrist and pulls him up into his lap, Simon runs his tongue along Jace's wrist slowly, making him groan. 

Simon can feel his teeth emerge and tilts his head forward, he hesitates before biting down, looking up at Jace's flushed face. 

Jace nods, giving him a reassuring look. "Bite me." 

Simon surges forward, clamping his teeth down on his wrist, feels his teeth break through the skin, and the first burst of flavour as Jace's blood hits his tongue is like heaven, he drinks it down greedily. 

Jace cups his other hand around Simon's neck, brushing small kisses up his neck, he slips one of his leg in between Simon's and grinds their growing erections together, moaning into Simon's neck when he bucks his hips up, setting them into a rhythm. 

Jace losses all sense of time with Simon beneath him, and before he knows it, he's crying out as his orgasm takes him by surprise, he can feel Simon shudder under him, before stilling, Jace slumps against him, feeling light headed, Simon release his wrist, licking away the last drops of blood, pressing a kiss into the spot. 

He cards his hand through Jace's hair. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm great." Jace says. 

Simon laughs and kisses the side of Jace's head, pulling the sheet over their cooling bodies. "Sleep." Simon says and so Jace does, falling into a peaceful sleep, feeling the reassuring touch Simon's skin against his. 

Jace wakes up abruptly, staring blankly at his room, trying to figure out why he's awake, he checks his phone and sees they've sleep for a few more hours, he has to meet Alec in an hour for training, Jace groans and turns over, pulling Simon into his chest, letting his eyes fall shut again, his eyes snap open when someone knocks on his door, that's why he's awake, someone was knocking on the door. 

He frowns and gets up to answer it, pulling on a pair of sweatpants as he walks, he goes to unlock the door, but freezes when he remembers and looks back at Simon still sleeping in his bed. 

Jace is looking frantically between Simon and the door, when a familiar voice calls through. 

"Jace, come on, wake up, open the damn door." Alec says and continues knocking. 

Simon rolls over on the bed, reaching for Jace and frowning when he's not there. "Jace?" 

"Yeah, hang on." He says, unlocking the door, and poking his head out, looking around in case they're other people around, when he sees it's clear, Jace opens the door fully. 

"Why are you banging on my door? We don’t have training for another hour." Jace says frustrated. 

Alec looks at him unimpressed. "Clary's here." 

Jace stares wide eyed at him. "What?" 

"She came home early." Alec says. 

"Simon." Jace calls over his shoulder but gets no reply, he pulls Alec inside and closes the door behind him. "Simon." He calls again, picking up a pillow off the floor and throwing it at him. 

Simon jolts awake and sits up blinking sleepily at him. "What? Why are you throwing things at me?" 

"Clary's here." Jace says, and that wakes Simon up. 

"What? What do you mean she's here? I thought she wasn’t coming back till later." 

"So, did I." Jace says, looking accusingly at Alec. 

Alec holds his hands up. "Hey, I thought she was, that's what they told me." 

Simon stays frozen, till his brain restarts and jumps up from the bed, forgetting about a little fact, before Jace reminds him. 

"Simon, you're naked!" Jace shouts. 

Simon just manages to grab the sheet before it falls from his waist, Simon's 100% sure that is he could blush, he would be as red as a tomato right now. 

Simon gives Jace the finger, when he hears him laughing. "Shut up." He says. 

Alec can feel his cheeks heat and turns while Simon gets changed. 

"Uh, I'm good, thanks." Simon says embarrassed. 

"How am I gonna get out of the institute without Clary seeing me?" Simon asks. 

Jace shrugs his shoulders, running his hand through his hair, agitated. 

"She's looking for Jace, she was on her way here, before I saw her." Alec says. 

"Where is she now?" Jace asks. 

"In my office, I said I needed to talk to her." 

"Good, that's good." 

"Good?" This is not good," Simon says firmly. "She is going to walk in here any minute, this is not how this was supposed to go, this isn't how she was meant to find out." 

Jace walks over to Simon, pulling him into his arms, Simon's arms coming up around his waist, burying his head in Jace's shoulder. 

"It's gonna be okay, Alec's going to get you out of the institute, and I'm going to find Clary, right Alec." He says, looking over at Alec. 

Alec nods when Simon catches his eyes. "Okay," He says quietly. 

"Right let's go." Jace says, Simon nods, and grabs his stuff, making sure he has everything. 

The hallway is empty when they step out of Jace's room. 

"Make sure nobody sees him." Jace says to Alec, who nods at him. 

"I have to go this way, Alec's going to take you down that way." Jace says, indicating the opposite direction. 

Simon stays quiet, hating this, all this sneaking around, and lying, he was having such a nice morning till this, and for a third time in so many hours, he feels like crying again. 

"Hey," Jace says, grabbing his chin. "I hate this too, but it's not for much longer, when we tell Clary, we'll be free." 

Simon smiles softly, looking at him with love filled eyes, and steps forward to kiss him, ignoring the fact he knows Alec's watching. They kiss slowly, Jace's hands coming up to cradle Simon's face like he's something precious, he lays one of his own over Jace's, they pull back when Alec clears his throat. 

"I'm sorry, but we've got to go." 

Jace walks backwards slowly, eyes never leaving Simon's. Simon holds onto Jace's hand, until he has to let go, arms stretched as far as they'll go, his hand falling listlessly to his side, he turns and walks away with Alec, he's about to turn the corner, when Jace calls him and Simon turns back to him. 

"I'll see you later, don’t forget." 

"I won't." 

"I love you," Jace says seriously. 

Simon smiles back at him. "I love you too, now go." 

Jace winks at him, before disappearing around the corner. 

"You really love him?" Alec asks. 

"Yeah," Simon says not taking his eyes off the spot Jace was. "Yeah, I do, so much." 

Alec studies him, seeming to come to a conclusion and just nods at him, before walking off down the hallway, Simon scrambling behind him, to keep up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being longer than I planned, so I had to cut it in half, I will post the rest as soon as I can.
> 
> Kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Thank you again for all the comments, they mean a lot to me, as I'm still a fairly new writer.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a fairly new writer, so if you see any mistakes be sure to let me know
> 
> Thank you all so much for the comments and the kudos!
> 
> You're all awesome.


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